Thursday, November 30, 2006

1st it was expensive then now its dangerous.

1st they started to close the pig farms and the prices of pork went skyrocketing like the prices or petrol.

small pork seller suffers, as lest ppl buy pork and eats more ayam.

then now they tell you that the babi is injection with some kind of shit which is unhealthy if you eat a lot, in case you didnt know, they do the same thing to the ayam, but never made any big headlines.

so now, not only the small pork sellers suffers from low sales, they now suffers from no sales !

dont be surprise if the ayam price went up just like our toll roads.

welcome to malaysia, where the pigs population will soon extinct and the only pigs left are those that belong to some fraternity group.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

who the fuck is MSC kidding pulak

last month i had this article who the fuck is TM kidding.

now we have MSC trying to tell the world how great they are. i already thought MSC was a failed project, as the idea of supplying the world with IT knowledge workforce is no where near what India export out even on a monthly basis.

some of the tag lines

" we welcome the world "

"MSC malaysia, the difference between good investment & great investment"

" class infrastructure at 3rd world cost"

".......supporting government policies ????"

whose is next ? proton ? no, bridge building and water supply maybe.

imagine the tag line,

"we are the emerging leaders in asian water supply and bridge building, we are commited in making a world of difference in the lives of over 1.8 billion people by building bridges that crack under preasure and water supply that will stink of shit and a load full of rust."

malaysia welcome the world.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

fucking in space

i cant remember when i first wrote on malaysia space programme.

i thought it was going to die half way and save us all that public funds. cause really i dont see why we need a space programme other than that idiotic m'sia boleh or m'sia record.

and to think that m'sia 1st astronaut will do teh tarik and print batik is just ridicolous.

if you really one to do something really proud, then bring along a chick and re-define the term mile high club !

oozing cum and teh tarik is the same, white or brown liquid floating in outer space does it make any difference ? fuck no. so stop wasting our public funds and do something useful like masturbate in space or something kinky.

just remember this, the most memorable thing abt the 2006 germany world cup was the head butt, not the cup winners. honestly i thought germany won !

last but not least, as most malaysian tend to forget things.


Friday, November 17, 2006

amazing race asia hot babe

one chick caught ducky attention while watching the amazing race asia. everyone fav, the still not eliminated filipina duo of aubrey & jacq. aubrey is the tall one. its stated in the amazing race that she is a model.

ok simple arithmetics, you got a chick from the filipino country, she is a model, you add this 2 together you get a hot babe in revealing outfits. filipino fhm issues, has very near naked chick, with stuff, maxim & even playboy.

links ? what for ? thats what google is for ! go google yourself. hot babe like that, hope she last for a while in the race, else ratings might go down.

i hope we dont have self righteous idiots out that might want to disqualify her for posing like this. just you know, one of the previous amazing race contestant was a former penthouse/playboy. victoria something.

heard it on the mix fm this morning, they spoke to that eliminated filipino dude, dude said they lost because the lost their taxi after coming out of the zoo ! taxi ? i thought it was the fucking fast forward ! but he did said if he had a second chance, he might not do the fast forward, but he still blame the taxi thing.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

UMNO Street Magic Exposed

Guess now, after UMNO AGM, that the whole world knows that UMNO has got this bad ass magic trick thingy that could rob the ordinary schmuck on the road out of their cash, without them knowing when or how it happened.

Imagine that you have just withdrawn a set amount of cash from ATM, say RM 200, when you were to just walk across the street, you feel this tingly sensation on your ass. Now after the molestation is over, you would find that the cash you had just withdrawn, say 4 RM 50 notes, have been ¨magically¨ turned into 1 RM 50 note and 3 RM 10 notes.

And some smartalex would think that they could circumvent this by putting their wallet on their shirt pocket or for ladies, in their handbag, they would be dissapointed to know that what will happen is that they would still be molested...and robbed..regardless of where the wallet is. For example, if you would have kept your wallet in a safe deposit box, you will still feel as if someone caressing your butt, even if you are at the shitter doing your stuffs, there is no escape from this powerful magic.

The expose...... i am going to describe it as detailed as possible......

1st the molestation. It is to draw your attention away from what is coming after this. Strong signal of fear, suprise and pleasure would be sent to your brain at one go. For the interest of political correctness, lets not call this molestation...lets rename it to ¨the feel good factor¨ (c) AAB

2nd the Phased Vaccum suction deMoneytiser. It is deployed with the victim not realising even a thing. It was said that in the early stages of this magic, the victim could feel some wind sucking near his ass...That is what the first step of this trick the molestation or the Feel good factor is for, to mask this sucking...

Note : the exact change returned to the victim belongs in the realm of extremely high magic that i dont understand.....but suffice to say that the victim would only get exactly 60% of his money in value, sucked away.

And now finally to the most amazing power in the UMNO arsenal.....the ability to give the booty robbed from victims to people of a particular ethnic race..... If UMNO merely just use their usual method of transfering the money to the beneficiary, they wouldnt be amazing would they? Alright, the trick is out.....What UMNO really did was...They HYPNOTISE the particular race to make them THINK that they have been given the booty. Whereas the money had never left UMNO´s hands.


So there you have it does it feel to fave UMNO robbing PETER to (alledgedly) pay you when in dont see one sen of it?

Like they say...PAUL mudah lupa.....

And i´ll say, PETER never lupa...especially come General Election.

the so call protector of a certain race

every fucking year around or about the same fucking time, a certain protector of a certain race of ppl will gather together for a whole fucking week to conduct what you would call an Annual General Meeting.

dressed in their best traditional attire these delegates and representative from each state of the country gave their 1 or 2 cent worth of what they think the party is doing or going to do, but most of the time what they do is just marble polishing their leaders ballsz. like all colleges or universities fraternity, when you have more than a dozen of like minded ppl, you tend to stirr up certain issues normally alone you would not have the ballsz to do or say. unless you are the son of some influential leader.

and while brandishing a certain type of traditional weapon in the air they would proclaim that their race has been left out in the economy planning (which by the way was planned by this ppl as well) and therefore as the so call rightful sons of the earth they demand that a certain policy be affirm to ensure that their race are not left out in the country economy pie.

with all their fraternity brothers cheering them on, they continue to fuck the so call leaders of the other races, claiming that they cannot fuck the primary race leader nor can they challenge the rightful rights and the religion of the sons of the earth.

at the end of the meeting, many hands are shake, new contacts are establish, contracts renewed and awarded, non conforming members are kicked out while more liked minded fraternity brothers are recruited and other than enriching their own fraternity brothers, all this talk abt helping the less fortunate non fraternity members will just have to wait while they go shopping around for another traditional weapon to show off next agm.

Friday, November 10, 2006

boobies and all new season of prison break/battlestar/lost

i kinda feel that when chicks want something from you (non-sexual), they know how to get it from you. easiest way, is when they start talking in a manja manner, follow by cleavage flashing and if that fails, they will stand so close to you that you are bound to rub their boobies. god isnt it great to be a women. they seems to have the ultimately power of persuasion. boobies.

but if you need a favour from the chick, sweet talking and flashing your ballz is not going to work, and if you stand close to them till they can rub your dick, you might be looking at a sexual harrassment suit against you. but of course if you are leng chai then it might work lah. the rest of the average joe just has to try harder.

anyone watching prison break season 2 now ? all i can say, is that, it is better than season 1. season 1 was all abt how scofield trys to break out of prison, season 2 is scofield trying to leave america while the cia/fbi/secret service tries to track him down. i wont say anymore, go watch it. it is currently showing up to episode 10.

not forgetting battlestar galactica season 3. now showing till episode 6, but tonight in the states, it is episode 7, so download might be available from saturday onward. battlestar fair not bad, if you need to download, just take the first 4 episodes, as it is really the continuation from season 2, after that it is the search for earth again.

lost season 3 ? lost interest in the middle episodes on season 2. completely lost. couldnt care less whether they key in whatever code every hour on that 486.

why did i not fuck the gamen today ? i think the gamen is fucking itself pretty good nowadays.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

SWAN or sluts ?

there is this tv show on free tv called the swan, where they take a normal human being then hack them into bits and pieces and then piece them up again in near pefect condition and discarding any unwanted bits along the way.

the show starts with some soccer mums or some depressed chick that dont like the way they look or has low esteem because of their so called out of porportion nose, chin, forehead, eyes, boobs, etc etc etc. then they get this once in a life time chance to transformed themself into a new spanking slut !

i'm sorry, i cant help it. because if i so happen were to watch that show that is what i see. normal chick goes for surgery/theraphy/workout then come back and look like a total slut. yes they look like all those porn stars you see on the net. nearly all of them had their boobs made.

most of the time, the transformation made are like a real 180 degrees. cause after the transformation, they dont look anything like the original. if you are single, then i think its all fine. but if you have kids, lets say a 2 year old, i dont think the 2 year old is going to understand why mummy look different now.

and of course all the male partners are happy. who wouldnt ? as your partner now has been turn into a total pornstar. now you dont have to waste hours after hours wanking yourself in front of the monitor.

and finally, the ppl that made the transformation, my guess is they would go to hell after they die. why ? you ask. well why not. what if it was god who made this ppl like that. maybe god had a reason giving you a crooked nose. now you go and play god and changed this crooked nose into a perfect nose, whose fault is it ? imagine a conversation between god and one of the doctors.

god : are you god ?
dr. : no
god : i think u are
dr. : no, u are god, i'm just a servant
god : servant ? u call yourself a servant ?
dr. : yes i am
god : then tell me, which servant tries to out do their master ?
dr. : i dont understand
god : why you changed that girl's crooked nose to a straight one ?
dr. : oic your point, i was trying to make it better.
god : so you are saying that i made it wrong ? i god made a mistake ? is that what u r saying ?
dr. : no, i mean what you did was ok, but i only wanted to correct it.
god : you want to correct god ?
dr. : no, i want to help you iron out some mistakes.
god : mistakes you say.
dr. : not mistakes, over look, i mean.
god : i see, tell you what, since i'm prone in making mistakes, i might just make a mistake and accidentally sent you to hell ! bye !

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

hurray for singapore !

finally it happen. of all the countries in asia, the smallest of them all but with the biggest balls, in one way or another told the fucking indon to shut the fuck up on their progress in combating the fucking haze.

we all know the indon gamen has no fucking intention to do clear this haze problem. the indon seem to have the same fucking attitude as our dick head leaders. "mind your own business and dont fucking tell me what to do with my ppl or country"

i knew if that little island is covered with haze long enough, they will fuck the indon gamen up. and they indeed did. they have brought this matter up with the UN, asking for assistance in combating the haze issues.

and what had the indon said about this ? there were pissed ! claiming that it wasnt done in the spirit of asia. that singapore had other intention. that this was an asian matter and should be solved within the asian walls not the UN.

spirit of asia ? choking your neighbours with haze is definitely not in the asian spirit. doing nothing about the haze is not the asian spirit. telling us to fuck off when we complained to your embassy is also not in the asian spirit.

bottom line,

fuck you indonesia, hope the UN fuck you up for good.
thumbs up to the republic for having big coconuts.
and as usual bolehland did nothing.

now lets just wait for our foreign minister to say something stupid on this subject.
you can bet on that, since harry fucked us the other time around.
lock and load !

Friday, November 03, 2006

no but, cause joe public wont even be given a 2nd chance.

yesterday, pak lah actually had the opportunity to redeem his total lack of confidence to the rakyat, but he blew it away.

the umno council had a meeting and concluded that that klang king ought to resigned his post from the klang municipal.

his position as head of umno klang - retain.

his fortress - not mention

his punishment - hope he repent

defy the sultan - not mention

check his wealth - not mention

what kind of cock and bull council is this ?

the klang king was only advised to quit, not ask to quit, but advised. what the fuck. the man is the head of the town council. the man knows that it is wrong to built a fucking fortress without proper approval but the klang king did it anyway. knowing it and still fucking do it. its like a double wrong. fuckers with powers and authority that abuse it should and must be sack right on the spot and any pension cancelled. no but, cause joe public wont even be given a 2nd chance.

i'm quite sure once and twice your fav mamak stall/restaurant would have been torn down for making illegal extensions without approval or tables consficated. now you have a fucking alcatraz in the middle of klang. built without any approval. tear the fucking thing down i say, or i hope some crazy muther fucker torch it down or blow it up to kingdom come. no but, cause joe public wont even be given a 2nd chance.

not punish ? why is he not punished ? becaused he made some public statements and cried his eyes out ?? if he was sincere, he would had made that statement the very next day went he was being accused by the DAP. the longer you wait, the faker your reply would be. its like if i call yoda a stupid mother fucker and replied me 1 hour later by saying, yay you too. the fucker should be expel from the klang council and umno immediately. no but, cause joe public wont even be given a 2nd chance.

but i think this is the biggest, defy the sultan of selangor, citing bad health and was on a holiday. he be lucky its not the sultan of johor, else you can find his body along some alley in chow kit already. for this his datukship should and any honours should be stripped away. and all benefits and favours cancelled. no but, cause joe public wont even be given a 2nd chance.

to built a 10million mansion, tax field audit asap. even restaurant or traders with fluctuating sales are being field audit by the lhdn. no but, cause joe public wont even be given a 2nd chance.

but the worst of all, happy-cock (zakaria), sobbing statement, that the fortress was going to be a monument for his children/grandchildren to remember him by when he kick the bucket. want a monument build a fucking statue of the happycock-lah, dick-head.

1997 again?


Remember the 96-97 currency crisis and the subsequent forced correction of the KLSE? The same anomoly which wiped out a few decades worth of wealth of the Barisan Nasional leaders?

It was so crippling to the govt that they even invited IMF over for tea to discuss on the Malaysian economy.

I cannot remember most of the parameters/advices that IMF set for Malaysia in order for IMF to provide aid, but i remeber the following:

1) Increase interest rate - fiscal policy
2) Slowdown of growth to prevent overheating
2) Abandon Mega projects
3) Liberalise the economy
4) No bail outs of failed cronies

The PM at that time, TDMahathir was not pleased with those recommendations. A super understatement of him being merely not pleased because his deputy, Anwar, because he implemented the fiscal policy, TDM figuratively rape his butt and throw his ass in to jail.

Now 10 years later, Mahathir´s sucessor, Pak Lah has applied most if not all of the IMF recommendations (that i can remember)

1) Increase in interest rate
2) Scrapping the ¨scenic bridge¨
3) Slowing down of growth (involuntarily?)
5) Not helping proton (?)

Pak lah did all this and all he got was toungue lashing from the old tun?
Should Anwar make some noise of Tun practising double standard?

Tun and pak lah are probably billionaires many times over already...for them to piss about over something (Scenic bridge) which cost just a few hundred million might be just an excuse......

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

putrajaya is like a fail simcity model.

while waiting for prison break season 2 and battlestar galactica season 3 download to finish, i was rather bored, and did not have much shows to see. so i decided to play some PC games since my sister has already taken back her ps2. bought some pc games but only to discover that my AMD 1.2Ghz is a little not compatible to play current games, so my hopes of playing settlers the heritage of kings dashed.

so i flip for some old games to play and found simcity. i think its 4. the sims in this simcity are one fucking demanding lot. they need medical attention, education satisfaction, parks, cheap taxes, low pollution, garbage clean and satisfactory accomodation as well. so while i was trying to meet their ever increasing demand, i realise, putrajaya is like a simcity build by a very novice player.

dont you think so ? i mean if you are a novice player, you are going to build that big park, put fancy buildings next to residential area to perk up their value and looks, hoping they will turn into mansions and villas. but soon enough you'll realised you have over spend and your income from taxes are not really covering it. so you start to take loans every year. soon enough simcity will give you some opportunity to make some serious money by offering you to set up military base, missile silo, toxic dump waste, prison and casino.

but when all that dont work, you start to build heavy industries every available space and leave out commercial. you might make it, but your simcity is choking in haze. eventually you stop playing, as your financial planner is always pissed off with a red face !

who the fuck is paying for putrajaya upkeep ? us the tax payers as well ? last i read about the embassy in kuala lumpur along jalan ampang, most of them are staying put unless they are renting their lots. i believe the american embassy has no intention of moving as well.

actually i do hope all this embassy stays put, caused if they go, you can bet your balls that they are gonna pull down all this beautiful mansions and built multi storeys condominiums and penthouse. you know how the kuala lumpur systems works, no system.

take a drive down to putrajaya this weekend, use the highway that pass upm via serdang, its much cheaper and nearer. drive straight into putrajaya city centre. you'll see every single ministry office there in big shining blocks. other than the civil servants and a couple of cars and bus, it looks very much like a ghost town.

unlike simcity you can delete the game and rebuilt if you dont like it, after all its only sim dollars and some sleepless nights. putrajaya unlike simcity is real and cannot be undo ! and billions had been poured into there already, offices has already been relocated and ppl mobilize.

if you are staying in putrajaya, dont be surprised, if you wake up the next morning next to a missile silo or the tentera darat diraja malaysia or the new putrajaya camp or even casino de putrajaya !

i do hope i am wrong.