Tuesday, February 28, 2006

looks like every week there is something shitty happening.
last week was shit all over my house. this week is petrol price increase. niamah, how to get a break ?

i did not ping the fuck malaysia post, as the whole pps will be flooded since yesterday with this news. as usual i wanted to be different and original.

so what can i do for originality sake ? i'm not showing my kkc in ducky, ok, yoda. what else can i do, emm, post a single mohammed caricature here ? interesting. here goes.

dont look like one ah ? i tarak say i can draw very well, only took arts until form 3, that one also went to buy a wau for the srp exam. everyone buy batik cloth, i buy wau, what to do always want to be different. but one bugger even terror did a house model project, what was his name, christopher i think, he look a little bit like eddie murphy, but less foul mouth than eddie.

never mind i try again.

that was my best. cant do any better.

did i actually mentioned i would post one? well i drew this one out didnt i, not post. so its not the same lah, correct ? i leave to your own interpretation.

fuck malaysia

kanninehchowchibai, this time must really spell it all out.

another fucking 30 sen, and now is rm1.92. they think my money grow from the fucking durian and coconut tree ah ? last time rm50 enough for a full tank, then rm60, now chibai rm70 for a fucking full tank ?

i think from the former pukimak to the current pukimak, our petrol prices have increase nearly 1 whole fucking dollar. cheebai.

how to write funny stuff lah angel, with this kind of economy. i tell what i'll do, i'll go circumcise my kkc, then i'll go over to parliament, then i'll pee all over the dewan just for kicks, mother fucker.

5xmom wrote on "what you would do when you hear the national anthem being played" this is what i'll do, change the channel. i think i'll get a standing ovation for this, not short of a malaysia nobel prize.

what do i think of doing right now ? dont know, yoda claim i'm part fundie, maybe i'll blow up something.

fucking wira only gives me around 350km per full tank, i better change to a honda, i understand it gives around 500km per full tank.


Monday, February 27, 2006

Laura Branigan

do you remember laura branigan ? she was a 80s chick, singing self control and tiamo. but of course her hit song was gloria.

there is something abt the song tiamo, i remembered during that time, once i heard tiamo, i could not stop singing. and now since i have been listening to it again after 20 years.

and since i cant get it out of my head, you'll have to join me, now lets sing along,

Ti amo, God how I love you so
My heart just won't let go
Day after day I'm still holdin' on
Even though you're gone

Ti amo, wasn't I good to you?
I did all that I could do
To make you want to be here with me
I thought you loved me

I can't believe you could just turn and leave
Y'did it so easily
You pulled my world out from under me
Look what you've done to me

How could you end it this way
After the love that we made?
God how I wish you had stayed
Can't you see that I just want you back?

Ti amo, I never had a clue that I was losin' you
You never once let me know you were lettin' me go
Oh, I guess it was there in your eyes
Guess it was there in your sighs
Guess it was there in your lies
I was blind then, couldn't face the end

Ti amo, thought we'd go on and on
Thought we had something strong
You pulled my world out from under me
Look what you've done to me

How could you end it this way
After the love that we made?
God how I wish you had stayed
Can't you see that I just want you back?

Ti amo, God how I love you so
My heart just won't let go
Day after day I'm still holdin' on
Even though you're gone

Guess it was there in your eyes
Guess it was there in your sighs
Guess it was there in your lies
I was blind then, couldn't face the end

Ti amo, thought we'd go on and on
Thought we had something strong
You pulled my world out from under me
Look what you've done to me

How could you end it this way
After the love that we made?
God how I wish you had stayed
Can't you see that I just want you back?

Ti amo, wasn't I good to you?
Did all that I could do
To make you want to be here with me
I thought you loved me

I can't believe you could just turn and leave
Y'did it so easily
You pulled my world out from under me
Look what you've done to me

Ti amo, God how I love you so
My heart just won't let go
Day after day I'm still holdin' on
Even though you're gone ... [fade out]

but unfortunately she died on august 26, 2004.

how do you pee with a circumcise dick ?

yesterday i attended a relative majlis berkhatan. if you are like adam & marion of 8tv quickie, being a durian, malaysian that cannot speak and understand the malay language, its circumcise, you know the cutting of the kkc foreskin.

i've never actually seen a circumcise dick before, its not like you can ask your malay colleague to drop his pants to show you his dick. but what made me wonder is, how does someone with a sliced dick pee? on the toilet bowl i mean, you know the one you sit on to shit.

being an uncircumcise bugger, my foreskin helps me to aim my shot accurately into the toilet bowl, so if you are like circumcise and your brother is botak, without foreskin, then how do you aim lah? maybe you have to sit down at the toilet bowl just like a pussy to pee, or maybe some acrobatic skills is required to perform the task. maybe which i think is the most likely is, they put their hand in front of their dick and pee, so to say, they pee on their hand.

The Lying Speaker

Am glad that ducky willing to go head on on this controversial topic. Usually, ducky's post about his real life . Wonder what made him do religious stuff? From his post, me thinks ducky is a fundie. One day he will bomb the shit out of primary school childrens!

OK lah since his blog now becomes less conservative, i am gonna do my stuff here instead of restricting it only to my blog.


DISCLAIMER 1 In the following account of the lying speaker, "Speaker" should be read as any one of these pastor, priest, rabbi, mullah, acolyte,monk, witch, conjurer, ayah pin's wife, etc. depending on which sect of what religion you could most easily identified to.

DISCLAIMER 2 "God" should be read as any of the supreme being such as jehowah, yhwh, elohim, allah, quetzacoatl, buddha, kuan yin, dua pek kong, dua lan gong, odin,loki,ra, isis, osiris, zeus, hera, brahma,krishna, ayah pin, gilgamesh, jesus or whichever other gods you shiok with.

lastly "devil" should be read as whatever you want to. Who gives a fuck if i offend the devil right?

Most religious people would find blashemy extremely offendable. If you are one of them, do not proceed further!
If you are a suicide bomber wanting to go to heaven to meet some virgins, please also do not proceed further!
But if you are a hot chick with one or both of the above qualities, please proceed. i am going to take my chance!

NOTE : This is my perception of religion in general. If you are a christian/islam, just imagine i am soot-ing the egypt god. If you are egypt, just imagine i soot-ing the mayan god lah.


Speaker mouth says : GOD IS GREEEEEATTT!
Speaker heart says : if god so great, why am i standing here with you bunch of morons, trying to convince you about something which i already brainwash you every week to believe?

Speaker mouth says : TO DO {your favourite sin here} IS TO INVITE THE DEVIL TO YOUR SOUL!
Speaker heart says : Yeah right. masturbate somemore and you will go blind. These morons would believe anything.!

Speaker heart says : Lets all go kill those mutherfuckers. Death to all man, women and children of the enemy of my religion! only those women child who do not know men, i safe for myself.

Speaker mouth says : GOD LOVES YOU!
Speaker heart says : Death to all man, women and children of the enemy of my religion! only those women child who do not know men, i safe for myself.

Speaker heart says : Death to all man....(lazy wanna type again and again. but you all catch the drift lah.). Also please contribute to my nightclub sessions.

Ducky blogs : most christians are 2 hours sunday believers. once service is over, they go back to being an asshole 2 hours before.
Ducky thinks : Death to all man....

Yoda blogs : Ducky is a fundie..... One day he will bomb the shit out of primary school childrens!
Yoda thinks : Death to all man....



Now you see what we could happen if the majority are NOT 2 hours sunday believers but instead are like ducky, 24 hours a day believer. I hope you are not offended by the things i wrote above.
And ducky, how dare you think of forcing your own perception of religion to other people? But i like your style of doing it. Must be because you read my blog too often lah.

Yoda blogs : I hope you are not offended by the things i wrote above.
Yoda thinks : fuck lah not again. Death to all man.....

disclaimer (ducky) : yoda writes but ducky can edit, but that would be finas job right ?
if your religion is in your heart then this would not bother you much. but if you are bothered, then you you were bothered when the 12 caricatures of mohammed was published.
if you are suddeny full of questions and in doubt your religion then there is somethng wrong with you not your believe.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

the swearing speaker

some things have to be said in a manner to be most understood, else it will only be fell on deaf ears.

for instant, if a kid was running around and making a hell of a noise, you stop the kid, and ask politely for the kid to stop making so much noise, chances are, the moment you let him go, you are going to hear this again "eeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !" as you can see, what you just said doesnt make any difference. but if you were to put it on a more universal manner, like "stump!" you elbow the kid while he was running, kid fell down on his knees, you put your foot on his chest, slightly pressing saying " now listen to me you little kannineh, if you were to make the slightest sound again, i'll kick your marther farking balls so hard that they'll be deeper than your ass" the kid of course will not be making any more noise, or 1% chance the stump! killed the kid, and that's a different story altogether.

if you're working, then its normal practice, "ducky where the fuck is my report, i need that mf report like right mf now" and of course ducky will reply, "knnccb, you'll your chibai report when i'm done with the lanciew report. my boss understood and i understood that the report will be done asap. even hanging around with your friends make perfect sense.

but some place it is deem inappropriate, like talking to your parents, "ah hiow, please pick up the rubbish" ah hiow:"kannineh lu beh hiow khua wah kannineh boh eng phak chiu cheng meh, pukimak." mother: knn, lu khi chiak sai lanciew kniah" or the dad calling for the daughter, "oi kang boh eh, lu gia lu a chipek lok lai chi kang, lu u kan nineh thiah teok. kang boh: knn lu limpek, wah ti dua boh eng seow kan, lu tan chi eh a yor ? as you see, you cant really swear at your parents and vice versa.

there is another sacred place, where swearing is deem very impropriate, but somehow need to be changed in the 21st century.

my dear brothers and sister, do you know that jesus loves you ?
yes he does, and what do we do in return?
yes i say my brothers and sisters, what do we do in return ?
nothing, mother fucking nothing, no fucking thank you,
no fucking gesture. we just take and take, do we fucking give ?
fucking hell no.
you are all going to burn in the fucking flaming damnation of hell,
if you dont fucking repent now.
kan nineh, do i hear an amen, let me hear you say a fucking men.
go in peace to love and to serve your god, Afuckingmen.

* if you had felt offended, what can i say, dont say afuckingmen then.
## this post has no intention to make fun of the christianity religion, but to put a point forward, that most christians are 2 hours sunday believers. once service is over, they go back to being an asshole 2 hours before. reasons ? i believe you have that answer already and i dont need to go into that.
%%% i just felt that pastors all around are tired, that what they preach is going in and out the other ear, is it because their messagge is not powerful enough, or is it not said in the universal manner?
@@@@ you decide for your self.

mind thoughts

1. taylor hicks is in the top 10 without a doubt, but beautiful babe becky donahue was sent packing home, simon commented her that she might do well in the modelling business. i thought so.

2. i have not actually seen anyone posting up the 12 caricatures of mohammed in pps, and i wonder why, is it because the moderator have taken it down or pps pingers have no balls. apparently nstp can do it and got away scott free, but the sarawak tribune and a chinese daily were somehow not. this is racist ? fuck the chinese and the dayaks?

3. bird flu in malaysia, and the govt sprang into action. the last time around, with JE, the govt was rather slow in reaction, and when they did, they culled every single pigs they could lay their hands on. pilih kasih again ? malays dont eat babi, so nevermind, let a few thousand chinese parish why not? and chicken being the no.1 cunsumable meat for the malays, of course actions have to be taken to ensure the continueing surviving of their mf race.

4. sabah down being populated by other muslim races other than the kadazan is of course another proof of eradicating the non-muslim majority in that state. and at what course ? at any course for sure and at whatever means necessary.

5. pak lah for Pm is definitely the worst pm we ever had in our life, his image as the mr softy, mr. do good little is not giving him any credibility anymore. ppl are walking all over him, khairy is running loose like the tasmanian deviln in looney toones, and every minister is like the road runner, pit-pit.

6. we are all a little sick with mega projects that do not benefit the whole malaysian context, but only to a few, what i cannot understand is why must govt tenders and projects must be so inflatable high. is this the only way to ensure that the malays have nasi lemak on their dinner table every night? the govt is elected by the ppl, so why are they spending our money like its their very own. if the govt were to be a malaysia corporation, it would definitely be like all other failed glc. mas, tnb, eon, etc, etc, etc.

whole purpose is to show that the malay can do whatever the world can do, cannot do also must berlagak like can do, dont know also must berlagak like know, no money also must berlagak like very rich. all these have been written millions of times by ppl with like wise thinking, and for a good reason. we are tired and sick, that the mf malays must still be fed like a baby after too many long years. personally i and the whole non-malay community hate to pay any form of taxes to the govt, as it is money not wised paid, as all this funds will be used for the progress of their own ppl, which is like a baby that cannot grow up to walk or better yet dont want to walk.

i'm quite sure there are also a lot of malays that are well independent of the govt funds and can walk all by themself, and hate all this labelling as well, for them you are much needed for a new malaysia. but as long as the govt behave and react like a charity org for the malays, i will continue to think like wise.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Bloggers Bash!

Blogger's Bash is happening at McD tmn Connaught 5 pm.. Got lucky draw somemore.

First prize - you can get a 'your sins are forgiven' blessing. it was said to be very limited edition. some says that the only recepient was 2000 years ago!

Second prize - you will go to a place where there are 72 virgins waiting for you! the previous recepients are littereally blown to pieces with this prize.

and finally also got door gift somemore.

door gift - a dvd collection of the tc series V.


go to go now already. about to start!
yoda's post brought back some blue film punye memories.

its strange that most of the video rental guys back then, were aneh, chinese some, but most dealt in tvb series, maybe they do, i wouldnt know. most remembered aneh that did not screwed my back side was rahmat and raja. but have retired now i guess, as their shops are no longer there.

and there was this thingy abour renting blue film, you cant be too direct the first time around. you have to ask slowly, but not with the aneh guys, they go there geleng kepala once, and like magic show, a couple of tapes appear right before your very eyes, there was no actual exchange of conversation, just geleng kepala, must be a aneh thingy.

as i was saying you have rent the "right" tapes to progress to blue film. you cant just walk into the shop and ask for a blue film like you order teh tarik, "aneh blue film satu, kaw kaw punya" you must know what tapes to borrow, if you get beauty and the beast, nei man man tan lah. you have to get like those kolej shows with nudity back then, like screwballs something, then you progress to blue lagoon, then you ask for blue angel, basic instint, 9 1/2 weeks, then you test water, ask for emmannuel series, if aneh give you, then you can ask for kaw kaw one, aneh understand.

when i was in kl, also another aneh, since back then, very familiar with aneh style of renting blue film. but here easier, they put 2 different catalogue, 1 cerita biasa, the other 1 adult/r-rated/xxx, so if you want blue film, you just ask for better than the adult/r-rated/xxx shows, and aneh will understand. but this is where it gets weird, first aneh will get out of his shop, to look see look see, then he come back in, but his eyes still lurking outside, then he take the good stuff out, wrap in newspaper! and ask me to put inside bag! the whole process actually takes around 5 whole minutes. that was the one and only time i went there. that aneh really freaks me out.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Ducky is cleaning his shit so...

Anyone on blogspots ever regreted adding a teammate to their blog? is that so? ducky will be in good company then. hahaha

As my first objective after i sucessfully infiltrate this blog, i am gonna blog about the wacky duck himself( mostly a little bit). The following information that is about to be revealed are information collected through mamak stall sessions , which makes some of it prone to exaggerations and self praise(you know how guys talk in mamak stall lah) AND some convenient memory lapses by me.

At what age have you got your first taste of porn? If i remember correctly, ducky was saying he first rented porn from an indian shop in taiping when he was in his mid teens! Something like 14 or 15. Sons of a bitch! And right in the middle of the Golden Age of Porn somemore! This was the time when porns was made for theather not those made for video like those that we have today.

But then, Big deal.... i also got see porns during that golden age mah, i have access to "father's collection". Most guys would know what i am talking about. i got this feeling that males are born with the instinct to search out this treasure of all treasures when they are home alone. But, only some are born with the wits and skills to rewind the tape (pre-VCD/DVD) back to the original state before putting it back in EXACTLY the same spot. Even rarer is the ability to quickly dismantle the VCR in case of blackout and MANUALLY rewinding it back to the exact scene using a metal spoon!
I shit you not! take it from me. I have lost some of my best buddies due to blackout. Everytime i see my friends with visible rotan marks on their legs, we exhanged knowing nods that i know that he knows that i KNOW his house got no electricity yesterday.

But back to Ducky. He got the good fortune of having this 'connection' to be able to rent blue(porn) tapes. But what i dont understand is, by what means did he have to pay the very expensive deposit that is required to rent porn? during my time ( a few years later than Ducky)was RM 50 per tape deposit. The mystery clears up a little when one day when we were having some discussions about taiping, he was there talking about the good old times when he mentioned that his porn dealer, the indian tape shop, was no longer in business. And in its place was a bicycle shop. With my imagination, i could almost visualize that Ducky have to leave his bicycle with the indian man everytime he go and borrow blue tape. It must be ironic that when people start to skip out on the indian man with the blue tape, he amassed enough bicycle to open a bicycle shop.

But i dare not ask Ducky whether he left his bicycle there as a deposit or not. Because i scared when i ask him, he will start to cry like that : " Actually ah...woowoohoo...i...i..let the indian man screw my backside so i can borrow blue tape woh"
what i tell you, see what i tell you, taylor hicks for american idol.
now he is in top 12 guys, sure masuk top 10 punye. his singing is like his idol, ray charles, and he moves like ray charles as well.

soulman - taylor hicks

but how about the girls you ask ? girls i dont know, i tarak tengok. but i saw this girl, very cun. you see, cun or not ?

yummy, becky o'donohue

so cun what for sing song, pose for playboy or penthouse better.

did you guys heard (old news) that indonesia will be having a version of penthouse or playboy soon, or maybe out oledi, i dont know. indon issue, who got ? who got ?, scan and put in puretna, i go download, terima kasih.

now u know AI got lengloi, sure you want to see AI now. but beware hor, some girls not that leng wan and somemore 1 guy also tak lengchai, look like small boy only. you see for your self.

look at tooth pick boy

no girl picture, cause all can tahan lah, but never mind one, i give you one.

"she bangs, she bangs, and she moves.."

Thursday, February 23, 2006

tiu, tiu, tiu,
tiu nia ma, when came back today from work, on the tap, and what the fuck you know, no water, no fucking warning, no fucking nothing, just like that, no fucking water. no electric, is ok, sleep telanjang only. no water, very tiu nia mah punya. our apartment dont have individual tank, so i think lah, so if no water, means no water, not a fucking dripplet.

somemore just brought my kids back from the babysitter, the babysitter always let my son wear the lampin, so its cooler. sampai rumah, i was checking for some water left when that bugger pang sai in his lampin, and he did a hell of a big pile, somemore drip down from his lampin, then he run all over the house. we got no water, now we got shit boy running all over the house with shit dripping and dropping all over the house, i very the sakit kepala.

caught that little shitty, cannot spank his backside cause full of shit, no water so cannot wash the lampin, found enough water just to wash the shit off him, then we took the wet tissue to wipe the shit off the floor, chair, table and whatever lah. any where i miss, i dunno lah.

all this reminded me of the drought in 1997 i think. when our taps ran dry for a couple of months. i was staying in those walk up apartment, and i was on the 3rd floor, water truck came once every 2-3 days. 1st few times, i only manage 1-2 pail only. eventually i was doing 3-4 rounds up and down with 2 pails every round. actually grew bicebs bigger than arnie.

strange that we get rain fall all year long, and still we get water shortage. this water ppl say, yes rain, but not in water catchment area. wtf is not in water catchment area, modify the fucking thing lah. it's even ridiculous that we need to sell water to singapore, while we dont have enough to use. i think all this load of crap about water catchment area is bull. the water is there but they are selling it to somewhere.

somemore the bugger that jaga air one, must be areal sob. if the dam is half empty, even when it was going at 3/4 full, and there is no rain, tell someone lah, water drying up fast. but nooooooooooo, the mother have to wait until very critical level, only he realised, alamak no water oledi, you all water ration loh. wtf. if you are that sob, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. if you know that sob, pls go and fuck the bugger for me, if that bugger is your parent, also fuck him for me, if he is your sibling, whack kau his head for me and if you are that sob, tiu niamah chow hai.

* today cannot be funny, because no water to shit and got a lot of shit to wash.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

my cantoenese was rather bad when i first came to kl. we only speak english and hokkien at home, so kantonis was like a foreign language to me.

1st choice of food was always chak fun, as minimum conversation was required, all you have to do was say sek or ta pau. then you just point with your finger at the dishes you want to eat. no sweat. price, back then in tar college, it was dirt cheap, at times i felt like we were ripping them off. rice with 4 dishes, complimentary chinese tea and thong = rm1.50. where to get ? funny thing about tar college, was that it was like little china to me, everyone spoke mandarin or some other dialect, but eventually i found the hokkien dialect gang, then it was fine.

anyway, when there was no chak fun, alternative was always chicken rice. since my kantonis is extremely limited. i was taught to ask for siew kai, problem begin when they start to ask me, nei oi kai pei ? kai yik ? kai yik tow ? kai hong ? or kai kuat ? and my answer, ching chai lah, so he gave me the kai hong. so someone re-taught me, so now i order siew kai yik, the bugger now ask me, oi char siew / siew yoke ? ching chai, he gave me fat char siew. finally someone taught me correctly, siew yoke kai yik, since kai yik is cheaper than kai pei, price ? chicken rice with siew yoke kai yik complimentary chinese tea and thong = rm2.20, where to get, of course these are all prices some 13 years ago.

in the absence of chak fun and chicken rice ? chow fukkin mee, all that wa tan hor, lam mee, yee min, jangan main. alternatively there is always mamak and tom yam. there use to be roti bawang, but dont seem to have now. bak kut teh ? the man will ask about individual item to add, which are french to me, so no thank you. how about wan tan mee ? kl wan tan mee, is different from my kampung, the noodles here are thin like bee hoon, our is more fatter. and when you order wan than mee, you get everything, chicken floss, char siew, wan tan, veggie. here you get what you order. you know that overprice wan than mee around chow sow lin ? first time i ate there i actually got culture shock as the bill for 3 buggers was like rm20++.

this reminds me of my current chicken rice shop. man sells mainly phak kai, the way he sells it, is chicken by chicken. so if the current chicken has no wings nor drumstick, he'll tell you, mow sai cho, when you ask him about that 20 chicken hanging there, li ko yau yan teng chor ! so now my kantonis is slighty better, i now eat siew yoke kai yee tow. so i ordered kai yee tow, the man replied, nei chee kay thai lah, mow chor yee tow, ngo hoi chi sor, nie man man lam har. what can i say, pei hei char tow! so he came back, ask me, lam tow mei ah ? no wings, no kai pei, i dont eat breast and no kai yee tow oledi, that's my max in chicken ordering vocabulary, the man look at me, then suggested, ngor pei nei kai mei, kay how sek, then wink at me. every freaking time i order chicken rice from this guy i get the same treatment. and when i want to ta pau the thong, he said emm tak hang, tiu nia ma, emm tak hang. so i went into the kitchen and got the indon to ta pau for me.

i still eat there cause the chicken is really good. but now i eat pak kai hong.
one of the bank i like the most is public bank. and the worst bank is definitely southern bank ("sbb"). have you been to a public bank counter, if you get a number that indicate that your turn comes in like 20 more, fret not, if you are in public bank, the wait wont be more than 10-15 minutes. most of the time the counters at least 4-5 counters are open, and the tellers are superfast, even the pau thau are as fast, makes you wonder doesnt it. maybe if we sent them packing to china, taiwan or singapore, they can be improve. try going to sbb, 2-3 counters open, the rest i have no idea what they are doing, try lunch time, 1 counter. which stupid idiot would want to continue patronising this bank. this idiot, as they offer direct access gold card for prof grad. maybe its my branch only, nut i doubt it.

which bring me to here, this dr, this dr of mine, which i dont patronise anymore, run his clinic like a check out counter. he dont do sweet talk, he'll screw you if he likes, any he doesnt smile. but is he good ? his patients cards are stack up to the ceiling all around the 3m x 3m pharmacy. sitting and standing patients is similar to nrd counter during last year dead line to renew free ic. time frame per patient ? give and take 2-3 minutes tops, you come in, sit down, he'll ask you whats wrong, he'll ask 2-3 question, basic diagnosis, and walah, he'll tell you what you have and you get lost. if you imagine in your head what it was like, it was like this.

stand up, go in to clinic, sit down, open mouth, listen to your chess and stomach, walah you have the fever, stand up, get lost, take medicine. if thats not fast i dont know. and the fees, you must be wondering, cheap, rm20-30.

longest i was in there, was when he had to cut my bisul. it was the size of rambutan, and he said it need to be cut, i said like now, he ask me to strip to my underwear, i hesitated, as there was a nurse, but since my bisul hurt so much, i did not care. he jab my bisul to make it blur, then he proceed to cut me. funny thing was i felt the knife cut through my flesh, and that hurts like hell, i told him that and he ask me to suck it up. one time it hurt so much, i had to grip the mattress cover hard, you imagine, i'm lying face down, with my underwear pulled down, with the nurse there starring at my bisul, and he like be cutting for fun, while i cried like a baby, it felt like some banggali was tearing up my asshole with his kkc, and all the while, the nurse was having this sly smile.

race of this doctor, a chinese of course, my preference for a doctor has always been an indian. and my present doctor, i call him superpillai. always the reassuring voice, nothing to worry about, take the medicine and everything will be a ok.

next time.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

la la li li chi tampong
ah pek beh ah pong
ah pong boh laku
ah pek chiak kau sai
la la li li chi tampong

everybody hand face up my one face down, so i kena tag.

sooo kind of 5xmom to tag me, somemore say nice things about me in her website. kam siah kam siah.

how old are you tag ?

1. Name one of the actor of the old days that you missed the most

last time small that time i very shiok tanya roberts, bo derek & loni anderson. can choose 1 only ? i choose sam hui for aces go places

2. Name a cartoon of the old old days

thunder thunder thunder kucing
how come all also have to pick one only, dont care i pick three.
the transformer robots in disguise
la la la la la la la la la la la smurf

3. Name a singer/group of the old days

steve winwood
janet jackson
sam hui

4. Band of the old

still my fav - toto
bruce honrsby and the range
huey lewis and the news

5. TV Series of the old days

Where everybody knows your name - cheers
cosby show
bj and the bear

6. Actress of Old Days

bo derek
marilyn monroe - this 1 not my time lah of course
loni anderson

7. Fashion of Old Days that you miss the most

last time no fashion one, all my baju my mother make or buy, i pakai only

8. Movie of Old Days

top gun
raiders of the lost ark

9. Music Video of Old Days

have to be thriller lah last time very little choice

10. Coolest Song of Old Days

every breath you take
rock steady
never gonna give you up

3 persons I like to tag is

wa si hokkien lang being youngest
mr. niamah older or maybe oldest as well, since now warga tua oledi.
limkitsiang and if failing him Ahpek both are oldest we should get 50s-60s feedback. wonder uncle lim would tag or not ?

did not tag yoda, as he requested not to.

this tag is very similar to my earlier post that i wrote on 80s tv series in

80s tv series part 1
80s tv series part 2
80s tv series part 3
80s tv series part 4

Saturday, February 18, 2006

i dont know weather you people realised or not, somethings cannot do one you try to do also cannot do one. let me give you an example.

during chinese new year, i balik kampung, during one of those days, we decide to go to the stream to play play water, unlike the stream in kl, the stream in most kampung are most definitely crystal clear. anyway while, celup celup air, i feel like want to kencing, but lazy go in to jungle and pee, somemore people say if you kencing in jungle not safe after cobra snake bite your kkc, my one not 120ft long, just your average joe, so tak jadi. so i decide to lepas naturally in the stream saja. but to my terkejut, my kencing cannot come out, because i was wearing pants. and the mind automatically sense i was wearing pants, so made a conclusion that no pee will be disburse through the kkc while it is block by some foreign object. can you believe that or not. so i was there trying to kencing, at the same time trying not to look like i want to kencing, after people see susah. so try and try, had to manually try to over ride the brain kencing procedure, finally can kencing, all come out, feel very lega, but when the kencing come out that time, you have to "push" like when you want to pang sai, because if you dont tolak, the kencing will autumatically stop one. i guess this is system embedded into on head since kecik-kecik dulu to prevent from kencing while tidur.

my son celup air ala naturel

kampung stream very clear

small waterfall

Friday, February 17, 2006

parenting and babysitting III

you know the milk adv on tv about the father trying to teach the son/daughter about a flower, and the kid told the dad that it was an orchid. well i have a similar story to tell.

it was a saturday morning and my wife had to work, so i took my 2 kids to the nearby market. on the way back from the market, there was this huge crane truck park by the road, so i call my 3 year over...

me: you know what is that, that is a crane
kid: train ah?
me: no, crane
kid: train
me: no, it not a train, its a crane
kid: train
me: look at my tongue, crrrrrrrrrrrane
kid: trrrrrrrrrrrrrain
me: never mind
kid: why you say never mind, (look at me puzzle),
papa, ko koh hai "tiu che" lah.

i give up.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

what happen when military man (mm) talked with wahseehokienlan (hkl)?

mm: echo bravo, echo bravo, this is big red 1, do you copy
hkl: ?????
mm: echo bravo, this is big red 1, do you copy
hkl: lu see tiang ? chi peng boh cho blavo eh, see mee lang see big led 1 ?
mm: we are under heavy enemy shower, we are surrounded by pigs and grease gun, request flyboy support asap.
hkl: wah see hokien lan, lu ha mik tai chi ? wah a ah moh, tam pok tam pok, ok leh, lu ai cang aik ah ? lu kawan too kniah chin chair ewe eh.
mm: it was supposed to be a sop, but it has turned into a cluster fucked, we got jarhead fubar all over the place and in deep six trouble. what is the eta on freedom bird ?
hkl: lu kong ha mik langciau ? wa chai lu ai chang aik, lu boh sabun wah a hor loo, loo my kan wah eh? limpeh eh heow fuck eh ?
mm: cut the mother fucking charlie shit okinawa ? whtever it is Go tell it to the chaplain, i need those choppers Most riki-tic.
hkl: knn wah ka loo kong was see teng lang, mm see jepun kniah, wah mm see chalie chaplin, wah chee kang, chin tulan leow.
mm: ok charlie, it looks like General Confusioni, my jarheads are turning into horse cock, so i need to speak to a full bird honcho now.
hkl: loo chin goo eh ? wah chee pak tau ka loo kong wah see hokien lan, loo pun bay see see gong gong. chee kang lu ka wah kong lu eh kookoocheow pean beh lan, wah chin blur liao? wa kham tien weh kah hor oh.klick.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

do you watch war movies ? you know those wwii or vietnam war movies. one of the things that strike me most about military movies are the lingo that are used by them to communicate with one another. remember tv series combat, when vic morrow was communicating on the radio,"Checkmate King Two"

so what if we were to use it in our everyday life, how would it actually sound like. imagine you are having a conversation on the handphone with dad on the way home for cny.

u: bravo 1, this is blue squadron, do you copy bravo 1
dad: negative, bravo 1,
u: bravo 1, this is blue squadron, i say do you copy
dad: roger that blue squadron
u: eta 0600 charlie 1
dad: copy that blue squadron
u: there's a bogey at 6 o'clock, requesting to release fox 1, fox 2 & fox 3
dad: negative blue squadron, i think you need some go juice now
u: affirmative, started at zero-dark-thirty, do you have my gouge ?
dad: there's a goo coming up at 0400. did you run a routine check
u: nay just Kick the Tires and Light the Fires,
dad: i just hope it's sweet. up to snuff
u: Lost the Bubble
dad: overdose?
u: nay, just some grab ass
dad: copy that, how fast you going
u : Whiskey Charlie, Speed of Heat, Warp One
dad : bravo zulu, but dont get too spooled up, throttle back
u : i need to tank.
dad : you can Check for Light Leaks
u: roger that bravo 1.

Gigahertz and Nanoseconds ?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

today is valentine day, when chocolate suddenly becomes non fattening food and roses cost an arm and a leg. everybody is blogging about valentine day, what to buy, where to buy, where to eat, what to eat, what to say, where to do it, where not to do it, what to wear, what to avoid, etc etc etc.

well no worry, i'm not writing anything about valentine, i'm sure many ppl out there already muak listening about valentine this and that. so no worry, no valentine day thingy here.

i'll write about the fairer sex, wonder why it's call the fairer, they are not that fair or fairer comparable to us, anyway, i just want to say some maybe only little words. commenting about ladies, is very difficult, you say the wrong word, bam you are dead, you say the wrong word with a tone, bam bam you are double dead, say i love you with the wrong name, bam bam bam you are totally dead. you get the picture.

men are somehow created by the almighty a little dumber than the fairer sex. i know its not fair, but what to do, god say so mah. dumber in a sense, that we have little emotions or sensitivity understanding. the ladies practically have to tell the guys what is wrong with them, all the folded hands (we think u trying to cover your boobs from us cause we ham sap), stamping of foot, frowning, throwing of dishes, at night have headache (u know the drill, not tonight dear, got headache), we thought all this is because is that time of month again.

we can sent men to moon, create genetically modified genes, find cure for cancer(?), build the world fastest this and that, but when it comes to understanding women, we are dumb folded. we blink and we mumble mambo jumbo, which most of the time, bam bam bam and bam. women have six sense when you talk, their senses heighten when they hear different tones coming from that adam's apple. that would be followed by our body language. next time you want a lie detector machine, use a lady.

of course there are those men who seem to understand women, naturally, as if inbreed, we know them as softer man, it's a nicer way of calling it. but some are not gays, they are gigolows, well if you do that for a living, of course you are better at it. so where does this leave all of us idiots here.

dont lie, be sincere, try to remember everything you said to her because it is important to her, buy nice gifts when its not an occasion, hold her hands, understand her and for heaven sake, please dont push her head down (below your belt) as soon as you are making out!

happy valentine day.

special public apology for someone special.
sorry for today, if i understood you completely from the beginning, then it would be much pleasant. want to eat ice cream at swenson tonight, then you need to call the cook to cancel the fried chicken wings tonight.
yoda just restarted to blog again, which is a good news to me. not trying to help him to promote his blog, but yoda's blog a little different, yoda is loud, and sometime he is deep, very deep, i dont even understand what he says. i think yoda reads the entire encyclopedia when he was like 9-10 years old. his like a dictionary, sometimes freak me out as well. his favourite topics are religion, religion and religion.

but beware, his blog has no censorship board, im not talking abt knnccb, im taking abt feelings, yoda blogs whatever he feels like, and like i mentioned earlier, its about religion.

and his comments are as sharp as his post. dont take heart to what he comments but instead take it as a lesson or just swallow it. the man has no heart, his cold, ice cold. his nick name is big brain in hokkien.

his blog title is "no religion". i guess that says it all. yoda is an atheist. there is no bias for any religion, he'll do islam bashing today, christian tommorrow and maybe buddhist the day after, depending on his mood.

so enter at your own risk, if you are religion sensitive, then this would not suit you, not for the faint hearted.

ladies and gentleman, i give you:-


Sunday, February 12, 2006

today is chap lak meh ! happy chap lak meh to you all.

never heard of chap lak meh before ? this is because you city boy/girl not kampung boy like me. chap lak meh is the day you start to take down all your cny decorations, like the tang lung (some ppl hang from moon cake festival until cny over, easier mah), then all those leftover oranges give to chen and jacky, they seems to want it, i dont know why. all the cookies have to see whether masuk angin or not, if masuk angin, feed the dog lah, dont feed the cat, the bloody cat wont eat one, i tried before. then you wash all the empty containers to dry. after that give back to your mother to make more cookies next year. your mother will be so proud, all her cookies you and the dog finish it oledi.

all the box drink, can drink, put back in the store room, wait for special occasion to open again. all the dry meat and chicken floss, do "long yoke min pau" lah. then you need to clean the aquarium, because during cny, ppl come to your house and they throw things into the fish tank, they think fish like dog, eat anything you give. if your fish blur blur, then someone poured some carlsberg or o kow oledi.

and near finally, weigh yourself and measure your waist, very happy leh, very prosper leh. and lastly you see those papers pile up like the twin tower in your kiv and in tray, start workingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!
today is chap goh meh, orange throwing day, for some ppl peanuts and little drums, i dont know, ask 5xmom.

do ppl still throw oranges, actually i've never seen it before in my life, even as a full fledge kampung boy. do they throw it like, just drop it in the lake/river/sea/longkang or baseball style, cricket style, or skipping them on the water style, or maybe with a device, like a baseball bat, hockey stick, catapult, tennis racket, slingshot, or maybe kick it like the beautiful game!

this year maybe i also have to go throw oranges, because this year we have like 2-3 crates of oranges still un-eaten, some in the fridge, some still in the crate. where to go throw them? klang river, taman tasik perdana/titiwangsa/permaisuri gombak river ?

strange thing about mandarin oranges, is the folk tale that if you eat too many of them, you get heaty? how in the world can you get heaty by eating too many oranges, chinese tales, who knows, maybe it was suppose to be on heat or horny, instead of heaty, maybe the chinese dude cannot pronounce correctly and call it heaty, so after 20 generations, we know is heaty lah, and of course you know what come with heaty lah, sore throat and headache lah. so given my "on heat" theory is true, this valentine day make sure your partner eat a lot of mandarin oranges. i still have 2 crates, anyone interested?
woke rather early this morning, 6 to be precise, cause downloaded a video clip of sophie sweet and did not manage to see it last night. wow she is great. dont know who is sophie sweet? check the net.

so i woke up at 6, as usual check my bit commet, to see whatever shows is completed downloading, nothing everything is incomplete, other than my V which currently i have download 4Gb and uploading 6Gb. i do hope streamyx price for rm88 unlimited would go down, i feel its a little expensive just to pay to surf the net, but with all the free download, then again, 2 original cd would about cover it, right?

anyway, i look out the window, and there is this beautiful pre sunset scenery, which mr. national geography could not resist, took out the canon digital, and snap away, alamak, battery kong!, never mind take less photos. after all its sunday, and sunday is always beautiful. oops got to get ready for church now. church you say? yes yoda i do go to church, i go on my own free wil, not as obligation. other than you i believe most of us have a religion, which most of the time we neglect, until only when the shit hit the fence, then we start to repent, is it too late then? i'm no different from you.

for once photos without sarcastic remarks.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

yoda taught me how to blog actually, and it started in july 2005, so that means in june 2005 i dont even know what is a blog. never even heard of it. well if you have seen my first blog, you'll be shock no doubt. but 1 thing remain the same, picture will be accompanied by sarcastic remarks.

anyway, i was so hurry to start blogging, that i never really took time to fill up all the particulars about me, of course everything will be there except my name and photo, cause i dont know how to do that (photo i mean), i'm not very IT literate ok. most of what is writen is very true, to the last sentence.

before i forget, the freaking mantis appeared again in the evening, so i caught it put it in a jar and took it down stairs and left it in the garden. hope it doesnt fly up again. mr. lipas, squashed on my front door.

that is the fucking wire, you bite you'll
be praying your mantis is still alive
have you ever been mistaken for a waiter or somebody else ?

i have, and i'm not talking about those fancy restaurant, which i cannot afford anyway. i'm referring to you mamak shop, chicken rice shop, bah kut teh shop, steam boat shop, basically your kopitiam lah.

since i never had a maid or nanny, we were taught to clean up after you eat, sweep and mop the floor, paint the house, do your bed just short of cooking and ironing my school shirt, which have heat element, which is dangerous of course.

so i'm used to doing thing myself, you go to the mamak, your kari ikan, run out, you go get it yourself, lazy bugger, even yoda cannot do that. you have steam boat, your soup run a little low, you go tambah yourself lah, this is when the confusion starts, ppl all over is going to yell, "kar suey" like i'm going to care lah. from taking my own utensils to baby chair i'll do it myself. even to the extent of "kar shiut" or "kar thong" or "kar liu". come on lah this is a kopitiam, not your hotel restaurant, get up and walk, do a little exercise.

so what do i normally do , when ppl get me confused ? normally i dont give 2 fuck, i'll just walk to my sit, i'm not going to explain anything. once i sit down, everything is settled, then we'll see who is red faced.

i was once mistaken for an ikea staff, yeh thats right. i was there in a blue pants and yellow t-shirt, and this women, which accidentally turn out to be aishah, remember aishah, that gal that sings with that aussie band some 10++ years ago. but she look much different now, being mmph,...... being mmph...... fat and all. yah something like sharifah aini, so she said excuse me, can you get me...., so i was like reacting the usual malaysian way, i turn around, and look if there was somebody else she was calling, nope, she was calling, me, maybe i was in a good mood that day, so i politely said, i dont work here, she apologised.

ever seen malaysian stars out there in the public?, i dont go down to bangsar or hartamas, so i've never seen them there, i mean shopping complex like that lah. i saw yang yang once walking by petaling street, you know he looks small on tv, but actual person, he looks like a 6 footer. then that malaysian director aziz osman, i think, he was in klcc, then this is hilarious, i saw amy of seacrh in his skin tight pants pushing a pramp in ampang point, he look like petite man. yes he is small, yoda know i'm not big as well, but he look like a school boy size. the funny thing was i wanted to go up to him for a autograph, but then i thought, we'll give him some privacy lah. so what was so hiliarious, as i was going home, i was playing a scene in my mind of what if i have met him, it would go something like this. "hey awie, i'm a greAt fan of yours, love your performance, can i get a autograph" AWIE?????
i've just about downloaded the complete season of tv series V, after 10 days is still not done yet, still have 0.2% which is about only 8mb, but there seem to be no seeder or peer with the balance of this file, poor me. total size is abt 4Gb++.

do you remember V, lizardnation try to rule earth, something like that. i watched chapter 1 last night, and the acting and special effects was omg, lame, but that was the early 80s, what do you expect. maybe i can convert to dvd and sell it in a 3-4 dvd pack and make some money for my effort, i think rm20 for a pack of 3-4 should be ok. interested? well first i need to get my winavi to work. everytime i convert some dvd shows, it tergantung, dont know why, convert vcd, ok, damn.

oh lucky me, as i was writing this blog, my bit commet just informed me that i have just completed downloading V. wheres the champagne. sky juice will do. yeepee.

yeepee? you guys ever played settlers 2? i believe there is settler 4 now, anyway i remember in settler 2, whenever the guy with white hair goes out to look for minerals, and if he found something, he'll exclaim yeepee!

anyway, my post today is about 2 insect, the roach and the praying mantis.

somehow a very large roach, it was large to me ok, abut 5-6cm i think appeared in my bathroom, we got rid of it of course, then the next day, a praying mantis. a roach is fine, but a praying mantis? i live in the city for crying out loud, where in the world did the praying mantis came from? did you know the mantis can fly? yes but rather slow and unstable, it tried to kill me i guess, as i was trying to get it out of my home. anyhow check out my national geography photos of my intruders.

come lipas i'm ready

that is encik lipas, monk

this one bonus photo, it's amoth right

shit the mantis bit my kkc, better run

ooi come back here you coward

Friday, February 10, 2006

what does american idol have to do with cny ?

as far as i know, nothing.

finally it rain like it never thought it could. i know it rain yesterday, but i did not actually see it, and it wasn't that great. this is rain to me after a long break since just about before cny. its very funny, cny hot spell is like the earth got nearer to the sun, maybe it is, i'm no rocket scientist and this was one of the hottest cny i ever remembered.

my cny myth, why and how come that i cannot figure out. gambling, mandarin oranges, those noisy insect they said came from china together with the mandarin oranges (is this actually true?), freaking hot weather, kuek kapit and kueh bangkit (whats with the malay names), is it originally a malay tradition kueh?

american idol contestant, i dont really watch american idol, but once a while i do, and at good timing as well, i saw this dude with greyish hair, looks like rainman but a killer singer. taylor hicks, he should be the next idol, but im not sure his appearance will go along with the american idol look. he was singing the carlton during his audition, and it was superb. i have no idea what is a carlton, but my guess is, it is some kind of blues thing. the guy look like he sang without much effort, it was so natural. check up on the net, this guy perform some kind of soul and blues thing, i guess he is a performer, like the previous american idol, they did not let the performer win. american idol winner, unlikely, but i hope he does and that would make AI less stereotype, which would be good.

taylor hicks my next american idol
traffic today to work was quite clear, i wonder if it is the thaipusam festival tomorrow.

what i dont understand, is why thaipusam is not a public holiday for the whole nation. every year the thaipusam celebration bring forth a lot of visitors to malaysia to witness this festival.

i cant really comment much on thaipusam, as i dont really know much about it. but the fact is that when you have foreigners purposely travel to malaysia just to join in this festival, it says a lot about thaipusam. i have work in kl all my working years. so i've never have thaipusam off as a holiday. yes i can take an annual leave, but its not my celebration, maybe that is why, the federal govt felt the same way as most of us, its not my celebration, its just a couple of thousand of hundred of devotees, and ppl that poke metal wires into their bodies, it sound dangerous. anyway its for the minorities in the country. sorry if you felt i have insulted you, but i'm sure you know that better than me.

bottom line, THAIPUSAM should be a national public holiday.

and btw, there should also be a day for tunku abdul rahman, the absence of this only shows the total disrespect and honour of the rulling govt to the father of independence.
thought i do a movie review

footloose (1984)

kevin bacon, city kid moved from chicago to a small town. funny thing about the small town is that dancing and rock and roll music are banned by the authorities. so kevin decide to take on the authorities to hold a senior prom night with music and dancing. this was the movie that gave kevin the break through to super stardom i think. kevin did a lot of dancing in this show, sort of like mr. pilot john travolta in saturday night fever, which also shot him into super stardom. kevin is 48 years old this year.

the soundtrack is great, i've downloaded it from the net, and i'm playing it everday to work.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

i though all this talk about the first malaysian astronaut, was just coffee shop talk, and all the short listing of candidates was just malaysian way of wasting money. but now they actually have the 8 finalist candidate. check them out, extract from the star.

1. Malaysia Airlines pilot Mohammed Faiz Kamaluddin;
2. AirAsia pilot Kelvin Lim Hock Seong;
3. Automotive designer Mohd Bostami Ahmad;
4. Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan medical officer Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor;
5. Royal Malaysian Armed Forces dental surgeon Faiz Khaleed;
6. Esso Malaysia Bhd machinery engineer Muhammad Husaini Hashim;
7. Engineer and project manager Norazlan Shah Mahadi; and,
8. Senior quality engineer S. Vanajah, who is the sole female candidate.

so there are 2 pilots, 2 dr and 4 engineers, your average malaysian ? not a chance.

if it was my pick, i would list the following ppl

1. malaysian most influential blogger - jeff ooi
2. mr. rocketman of course - lim kit siang
3. malaysian funniest blogger - kenny sia
4. mr. niamah - patrick teoh
5. 1 cd/vcd/dvd seller
6. 1 roti canai mamak
7. 1 student
8. 1 ah sow

the reason, being

1. malaysian most influential blogger would be about the only person that would understand all the astronaut lingo, bandwith, mach speed, and all those blinking lights. and of course we want him to blog all about it in screenshots without cencorship.
2. lim kit siang is to prove to some of the umno members that the dap rocket can really fly.
3. kenny sia, we need a funny blogger, jeff ooi will be explaining in details technical terms we all cant understand, kenny sia can simplyfied it. and anyway they might need some comic relief during the long trip.
4. patrick teoh, who else better to niamah about it in his blog
5. 1 cd/vcd/dvd seller, represent the most sold commoditties in malaysia, come rain or shine, and at the same time provide some "in house" entertainment for th long journey.
6. 1 roti canai mamak, malaysian staple food, who can leave without roti canai, nasi lemak or teh tarik and the telur setengah masak in the morning.
7. 1 student, this being 1st for malaysian, youngest astronaut
8. 1 ah sow, who better to gossip to the entire malaysia about the other 7 ppl bad habits, and make exagerated story about the trip.

anyway, in realty, the whole project is a total waste of money, as we do not really need astronaut, as we dont even have a space program, you know as much as i do, that this is just for show off, just like our twin towers, sepang airport and F1 circuit.
sarawak tribune licence suspended indefinitely.

I have not seen sarawak tribune's edition which shown the controversial caricatures, maybe they had some add-on to it.

so does this mean that if i reproduce the controversial caricatures of Prophet Muhammad i would be ...... suspended as well ? or drag on my ass to putrajaya ?

but strange enough, knowingly our local govt policy on controversial religious/racial policy, what made the sarawak tribune publish it in the first place.

maybe it was a set-up, on one of the axed editor, or maybe the company was in financial crisis, what better way to be compulsary suspended indefinitely by the govt. but for whatever the reason, it had plenty balls and for that i salute you.

yoda, should i reproduce the controversial caricatures of Prophet Muhammad here ?
just in case you guys are not aware, mr. niamah, mr. tokkok, the man with the voice, mr. patrick teoh is back after a 1 month break from blogging, that's what he says, he seems a liitle out (not enough niamah) for the time being, but we all wish him the best, and hope you guys continue to support his blog, and we hope his niamah machine start cussing out niamah words.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

offensive caricature of mohammed.

have you seen the caricature? yes i have and i dont really find it all that funny or amusing, maybe its a danish thing, a scandinavian thing, a helga thing, an ingrid thing. lets not singled out any religion this time okay. when the passion of christ was released then, there was equally dissatisfaction from both side of the camp. i believe kingdom of heaven and schindler list shared the same fate.

religion has always been a sensitive issue, just take that indian moorthy guy for example, indian convert to muslim, now ... controversial. but then again i cant keep to my word, singled out any religion? come on islam is just asking for it.

caricature is for fun, when someone draws a caricature its for laugh, not for the serious head. movies are entertainment, nothing more, enterpretation of the truth in movies are always distorted, just take lotr, the book was fantastically written, but the movie only pleased those who did not actually read the book. movies and shows are just for entertainment and making the big moolahs, if you cant tell the difference, take a flight to pyangpong, pyangpong telecast might just be right for you, nothing distorted, the great kim jong il is king, god and heaven.

am i going to show those caricature of mohammed here ? i dont think so, i like my hair the way it is, and i have no intention for it to be bald.

try searching for jokes on islam and you might get 10 the most i think, i did not search very long as the most results came out negative or none, others site will tell you not to make jokes about islam, if there is, it is in a very clean manner. try typing jokes on christianity or just religous jokes, chances are 90% are christian related.

need i say more ? and like i said before islam have no tolerence.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

some ppl do it, some ppl dont, i dont like to bitch abt it, but i just feel very strongly against having your indon maid as your baby sitter. its cheaper you would say, you pay your maid rm400? for as many kids, compare to the baby sitter that charge rm400 for one. and they clean up as well and cook, and if you dont like them, you can kick them. i guess thats the malaysian mentality, squeezing every dime from whatever service we can. just take buffet lunches or high tea, only malaysians stack-up their plates to feed 20, but gobble up the food themself. just because we paid rmxx++ much we expect xx much, nothing less, anything less would be depriving us from what trully belong to us.

indon maid are suppose to clean your house, cook for you, some ppl make them wash their car everyday. this deprive the indian bugger rm50 per month you already. indon maid are not meant to babysit your kid, for christ sake they are indon, they have different ways of taking care of kids, dont be suprise if your kids speak malay in a funny kinda way.

another thing about maid, these days, is that we are just all plain lazy. remember when your parents did not have a maid, who clean up after you eat? yes you did, who sweep the floor? mop the floor, paint the house, do multi house chores? yes you did. and you turn out to be a useful fellow, as you are used to multitask and being house bred. you can cook, clean and repair the house. sorry maybe not you but me.

the maid has made your kids lazy and fat, they dont do dishes, they dont cook, they dont clean, and we wonder why they cannot get a job! they are all fucking spoilt. they want high paying glamorous job. they want to start from the top, not from the bottom. i personally hate this ppl. they dont do much, but talk cock all the time. and their daddy is someone, someone.

why all the fuss abt maids? logic is, if you let your kids be treated like a "wong tai" they are going to grow up being spoilt and rude. they are used to instruct amd give command, and not the other way around. you want them to wait tables while waiting for their exam results? ha ha ha. high hopes.

was having tin sum the other day, it was busy as usual in the tin sum shop. a family just sat down next to our table, and was waiting to be serve, so the kids age about 8-10, went over to an empty table to bring back the utensils and plates, and when they got back to their table, they got fucked by the mother, the mum told them that it was not their job to bring the utensils, and they were doing the restaurant a favour. then they waited another 2-3 minutes before they summon for the "low sai", they complain to the low sai that they had to set up the table them self, that nobody served them, and that the restaurant is very badly run! and guess what the low sai apologise. if i was the low sai, i would have fuck fuck fuck them and told them we are not interested to serve them. if you want good service go to a fancy tin sum restaurant, you pay service charge for that.

ugly malaysian, fucks up my day.

any way i dont have a maid and i have 2 kids, both me and my wife work, we can afford a maid, but we enjoy our privacy and we dont want to spoilt our children, yes we are tired, but it is worth it.

and lastly to ppl that sent their kids away to the babysitter or parents house for the weekday and only return back on weekend, if you have excuse that you are both very busy, dont get a kid, get a dog or a cat. why get a kid and dont spend time with them?

more ugly malaysian.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

i really dont understand our malaysian mentality, take the making of new ic for one, we were given ampleeeeee timeeeeee to renew our ic, but no thank you, i want to do it on the last day of the year. so we have the long q, from the front gate of the nrd office till the toll gate of something, the when this ppl did not get a number, they have the fucking nerve to fuck the nrd offices for being incompetent. it appear to them that they were not at fault at all, doing things the last minute is norm. but the nrd fellars made a mistake though. they should not have open their offices until late at night, they should have just open for business as usual. 4.30pm tutup kedai. cannot make ic, tough luck.
but they make it up for just charging rm10 for the renewing done from 1 jan 2006 onwards, there are many piss off ppl out there over this rm10 thing. saying if they new it was rm10, they would not have line up till the toll gate. thats the whole idea, if the rm10 news were know, nobody would bother, and this would go on indifinetely.

anyway, while i was in kampung during the cny, i saw this familiar looking logo of our fav chicken shop, but on closer inspection, it was not. its a new chicken shop known as KLG fried chicken. being curious, i went into the outlet, and behold, all the deco and furnitures and every damn thing look just like KFC, i even their chairs are alike. so how was the chicken ? it goes something like this, first you order, the you wait, why wait? because they need to catch the chicken, cull it, pull the feathers, marinade it with finger licking good spices, then fried it. the taste? like any person, i mean any person trying to fry a chicken, it was bad. very very bad.

remember this logo

and this reminded me of another chicken shop that was in my kampung many years ago until they went bankrupt, mcdota fried chicken. remember? but i think it is only in small town, not the cities where they have to compete with kfc and mcdonalds. i was told by the cashier that klg is a taiwan franchise.

so, i cant resist it, after finishing up the bad chicken, i went out and took some pictures for your astonishment.

looks like your fav chick restaurant?
chinese new year has come and gone, to me it is. chap goh mei dont really mean much to me, its another dinner that's all.

1 thing i hate about chinese new year is the fucking weather. its hot, hot and hot, its always like this for as long as i can remember. its so hot i cant open my eyes to drive, its so fucking hot i bath 10 times a day. and it takes 30 minutes for my car to cool down after the air cond is put on full blast and the window wind down a bit.

but for everything i hate, there are some i like, like seeing friends and family again after a year, the merry eating and drinking and lol, it's fun, it's like christmas but hotter. i heard from one of my cousin who accidentally is a teacher in one of those international school, and i overheard him saying that some of his students never saw a real life chicken before in their life, i'm not talking about seeing on tv but actually seeing it in the market. i dont really buy it, as you know during all these long conversation with ppl that we meet once a year, we tend to exagerate a little bit, maybe a little more than a little bit, after all its just conversation. so while i was in my kampung for cny i took some pictures to share with some of you city folks that have seen some of this thingy before. i call this kampung 101.

lets start with the basics

this is a swing, it sit 2-3 depends on size

this is a morris minor, its abt 40 yrs old, maybe
not, its british made and it's hard as a tank

this is a rose flower, you can plant it in
very hot weather as well, not necassary in cool
places like cameroon

this is a cili padi plant

this hokkien call is "ang chai"

this is papaya tree

this is a dragonfly

this is a sugar cane plant

and finally the chickens of course or ayam

Friday, February 03, 2006

yoda personally told me that my recent postings lags controversial interest to promote any form of comments from his camp. lets see what i can do.

controversial is simply do be against what the majority norm would like to believe. so eg if i claim that ruben barichello is more gifted than schumi himself, that would spark a controversial issue by itself. ok.

i hate chinese tradition, not all of it, but most of it, even being a chinese myself. try getting married in a chinese way, it's stupid. 1st u have to bribe the father for selling off the daughter. then there is this ridicolous buying of gold thingy, and this stuff are expensive because u only buy it for wedding, and the goldsmith knows of this, so they hike up the price. then there is the roast pork thing and all those round biscuit in yellow and pink. then there is the photographs, some ppl spend up to like rm10k. mine was just the standard package. rm2k no more no less, for that u have to choose some amount of photos. the photographer would bull about taking all the photos, because it's a one in a life time thing etc. that is the shit thing about chinese celebration, we celebrate when thre is a birth, marriage and funeral, and all this occasions are just dollars and cents, and some of these chinese are really dumb, to buy into all the bull shit this conmen tell them, that you need this and that and that to keep face and what shit. let me tell you this, if you love your wife and your wife alone, and not the money her daddy has, then fucked all the tradition, just register take a snap shot, and you are done. finis. if the parents dont like it, tell them who is getting married you or them.
and then the dinner, who sit where and who to invite, that is when you realised that its not your wedding anymore. the wedding dinner is always not your wedding. its always the parents dinner. your parents is going to decide what is going to be serve, who is attending and who sits where. i like the malay way, kenduri-buffet, sit and eat and give rm5 ang pow.
indian traditional wedding, attended one and was told are quite extravagant as well, and the person to gain from all these is the priest that performs all this rituals, what i was told, i could be wrong, after all i'm no indian.
i'm lucky to be born in a new modern kinda of chinese family, my grandma attended english school, so we are a little different, i'm no ah moh, just we dont adopt all those hocus pocus insane ridicolous superstitions. we dont even drink any chinese herbs. grandparents just gave their daughters away without asking for any tokens. grandpa said he wasn't selling his daughters, he's just giving them away.
do i call my self chinese? of course i do, i am yellow colour. proud of china ? heck no. fuck china for all i care, love malaysia ? fuck malaysia for all i care. great grandparents was born in malaysia, dont know about his dad.
i'm just another yellow bugger in this world.

me 30 years ago