Friday, March 31, 2006

Federal Constitution

lets read from the holy book. no not the bible, but the federal constitution. since if protest is going to be a weekly thing, then we better know our righs and state it to the fru face to face. if we dare.

Constitution of Malaysia
PART II - FUNDAMENTAL LIBERTIES


10

(1) Subject to Clauses (2), (3) and (4) -

(a) every citizen has the right to freedom of speech and expression;
(b) all citizens have the right to assemble peaceably and without arms;
(c) all citizens have the right to form associations.

(2) Parliament may by law impose -

(a) on the rights conferred by paragraph (a) of Clause (1),such restrictions as it deems necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of the Federation or any part thereof, friendly relations with other countries, public order or morality and restrictions designed to protect the privileges of Parliament or of any Legislative Assembly or to provide against contempt of court, defamation, or incitement to any offence;

(b) on the right conferred by paragraph (b) of Clause (1), such restrictions as it deems necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of the Federation or any part thereof, or public order;

(c) on the right conferred by paragraph (c) of Clause (1), such restrictions as it deems necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of the Federation or any part thereof, public order or morality.

(3) Restrictions on the right to form associations conferred by paragraph (c) of Clause (1) may also be imposed by any law relating to labour or education.

(4) In imposing restrictions in the interest of the security of the Federation or any part thereof or public order under Clause (2) (a), Parliament may pass law prohibiting the questioning of any matter, right, status, position, privilege, sovereignty or prerogative established or protected by the provisions of Part III, article 152, 153 or 181 otherwise than in relation to the implementation thereof as may be specified in such law.

wonder what this all mean ? let ducky try first.

we can do all that of 10(1)(a)(b)(c) but subject to whether the interest of the nation has being threathen.

so who is to judge the interest of the nation is being threathen ? the PM right ?

so lets put things into perspective, when the police officer in charge call for the fru to "attack" and the water cannon display, that order would need to come from the PM right ? so if the PM did not gave such orders, then he was just acting on his very unwised decision, right ? and all those ppl that was involved there, all 1,500 ppl can sue him for restricting our rights to have a peaceful demo without arms right ?

so what you waiting for ? call michael chong lah !

anyway i'm not very bright, so can someone explain the whole thing to me, before i get into trouble.

rm1.30 for leong sui ? fuck no !


just in case you dont know, this is barley

and this is tebu/sugar cane, when u boil it u get chok che

personally to pay rm1.30 for a glass of leong sui is just too much lah. come on lah, in just water, sugar & whatever leaves/flowers/seeds and you boil it over like an hour or so. and furthermore its so diluted.

from today onwards i'll carry a bottle of mineral water to all coffee shop when i eat my chak fun, cause i think it is far too ridiculous to pay rm1.30 for a glass of barley/kok far/chok cher or whatever. the maths for this is just simply mind boggling.

this is one of the characteristic of a typical chinese that i hate the most. dont tell me about surviving. what abt me ? i'm just an employed salary worker. my pay is fucking fix, it does not get adjusted when basic ecnomic 101 items are increase. who the fuck is going to pay for my little extra, which once accumulated will come to quite an amount.

i'm not going to even beg for them to lower their price or bargain or haggle for a price of leong sui. i'm just not going to drink it. thats all. and one more thing.

GO FUCK YOURSELF IN THE ASS

come on bring it on, i'll take all kind of blows, but i'm not paying rm1.30 for leong sui or even rm0.50 for shit char. and dont get me started on shit char.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

why not close all the pig farms in the country

actually i hope the farking govt closed all the pig farms in malaysia. yes i am very serious. a couple of reason for this actually.

1. these farking pig farmers are farking rich, and i know for sure they dont pay i single dime in taxes. yes a lot of hard work, but they are farking rich.

2. as all typical chinese, they dont give two fark what happen outside their pig ass farm, so what if they pollute the farking river or the environment, fark they care. as long as their farking pig farm is clean and spanking and they make stinking lots of money, its farking fine.

3. this is the main reason. hopefully, with the closure of the pig farms, the chinese will finally stand up to the hwa na lang authorities and tell him to go fuck off. yes tell them to fuck off because you dont eat pork, and just because you dont eat pork, that does not necessary mean you can shut down our pig farm.

4. and if no. 3 wasnt enough, with all the pig farms eradicated, price of the khinzir will definitely be more expensive to buy and to consume. this will anger the pork eating consumers as they now have to fork out extra bucks just to buy them.

so with no. 3 & no. 4 in place, the chinese community (hopefully) will finally stage a nationwide protest to the govt of their unhappiness. and if the bn non-muslim component parties still cannot support them, then its really a waste of time to vote for them in the next general election.

but what if the chinese ppl say, never mind lah, just eat chicken only lah.

i wont be surprise.

and i'll just change my name to abdullah ducky. tiu.

MP jeff ooi ?

Do you think jeff ooi will make a good politician ?

I’m quite sure this thought did hit that brain of yours more than once, right ?

Do you think he is interested ?

Do you think he ever thought about it ?

So if he did join politics, which side would he be on ?

Maybe he’ll join mca, there’s where all the moolah is right ?

Or maybe he is more righteous and be an independent party ?

So if he is contesting in the next general election, would you vote for him ?

But what if ducky also is contesting in the next general election as an independent of course, would you vote for ducky lets say against a BN component party ?

What say you ?

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

i dont think this is going to work

i hate to admit it but nazri is right. you can protest until the lembu comes home, the price of petrol wont come down. it might have some effect, but the price is not going down. but if i'm wrong, i'll be more than glad to admit it.

you remember the movie braveheart ? (though partly historical, partly mythological) many thought it was a lousy film, many thought that matrix was a lousy film too compared to lotr. but i thought braveheart was great and matrixes was far better then lotr. anyway, william wallace was the great scottish hero. the man was full of passion to fight for scotland to free it from the tyrany of king edward 1 of england. he won a number of battles in the beginning, but eventually lost when he was betrayed by the noblemen.

you see here, the local protestors are like william, and the noblemen are not your datuk & tan sri, they dont pay taxes as well, i'm talking abt the bulk of chinese, we, the yellow coloured ppl, the major contributors to the country's economy, have more than once now been told to shut up when it concerns the islam religion. yet we just shut up and keep quite. why ?

my wife being the typical accountant, said that chinese dont care a rat ass abt the fuel price increase, we are not going to fuel a protest. what we are going to do is, if you're a businessman, you increase the price of your product, if you are salary employed, go look for another job or get a second job, she said we dont make a fuss abt it, we just work twice as hard.

and also remember this old saying by the chinese community, "we dont really care who runs the countrt, as long as we can make our money, thats fine, and of course we must still be able to gamble, drink and eat bak kut teh"

some one else told me is this "One reason could be their greater reluctance to participate because of the possiblity of having to tangle with the police". i guess may 13 still lingers on.

but as yoda puts it, may 13 happen, because bn lost some sits. and ever since that inccident, the may 13 has been like a trump card for the govt. social unrest, throw in the trump card, fuel protest, throw in the trump card. how many trump cards can you have ?

so am i saying our local nobelman will betray us ? betray no, just that they wont help. currently it look much more of a malay & indian affair, yes there was chinese, dap sec general was there, but the numbers was just minimal.

i might also get a lot of bombarding, as i might be ask, you want to go to jail huh ? you also no protest why talk so much ? you got balls you go lah. what can i say, bring it on. i wasnt born a freedom fighter, we were seldom oppress, even when we were oppress, we just look & see. but know, i was there, i saw, i witness, i felt an urge to tell as many ppl as possible, that what the authorities did even thought they felt was their best interest, was a wrong call, there was no unrest, ppl was not afraid, ppl and passers by actually cheered on the protest. there was no violence. it was a friendly protest. very friendly. even children came.

further more its not even on the paper or the news. we all saw it on free tv, how the thais protested on the street to ask the premier the resign. it's like the govt is allowed to criticise others, but when it comes to be criticised, "We don’t care what others say, we must enforce our laws" nazri said.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

malaysiakini vs the star

I’m a little confused here.

Malaysiakini reported this yesterday,

“Deputy Kuala Lumpur CID chief (operations) Ramli Din initially would only permit two representatives to enter, telling the rest to disperse. This was rejected by the protestors, who wanted a delegation of 10 instead. Five representatives were eventually allowed to enter the Parliament building on condition that the crowd dispersed.”

The star today however reported this,

“The protestors then made their way to the Suhakam headquarters after handing over a copy of the memorandum to Opposition Leader Lim Kit Siang. City deputy police chief Asst Comm Ramli Din allowed 10 representatives into the Parliament building, accompanied by Lim and DAP MPs, to hand over a memorandum to Mohd Nazri.”

Now who is right ?

my fantasy letter

in my line of work, i write a lot of letters to the various govt agency for various kind of reasons, from application to appeal letters. but these days, i seem to find it difficult to pen down for a even a simple letter.

i'm quite sure you know how a normal letter to the govt agency look/sound like. a lot of nice words, thank them in advance, asking for their good grace, hoping they would use their best descrition, calling then berbahagia and all those shit.

but now, i cant just seem to do it any more. it's practically forcing myself to write all those lovey-dovey lines, where in actual fact it should go somethng like this.

Lembaga Hasil Dalam Negeri
Cawangan Kampung Attap (W.P.)
Tingkat UG, 8,9, 11 & 20
Wisma KWSG
Jalan Kampung Attap
50460 Kuala Lumpur

Tuan,


DUCKY - NO. RUJUKAN CUKAI 1234567-01(0)
PEMBAYARAN BALIK CUKAI LEBIHAN SAYA.

Perkara diatas dirujuk.

ooi pukimak, bila lagi cukai lebihan saya akan dikembalikan kepada saya ? pihak you tidak ada sebab munasabah langsung untuk menyimpan cukai berlebihan saya tanpa membayar kepada saya sebarang kadar faedah yang sepatutnya saya terima.

pihak you juga tidak bertimbangrasa terhadap kita yang membayar gaji you orang. alasan yang sentiasa you orang bagi, fail tidak dapat dilocate, pegawai incharge cuti, lanciau sakit, puki sakit, saya tak tau, bukan saya punya kes dan pelbagai lagi alasan.

you orang ingat kerajaan itu you punya bapak punya kah ? tiu ! utang duit orang tak nak bayar, cakap itu dan ini, hutang you sikit, nak keluar surat penalti lah, surat saman lah, surat makamah lah dan last last surat waran tangkap. kalau suka hati kita orang, kita tau mau bayar cukai lagi selagi, you orang tarak beres semua hutang kami.


ducky

Monday, March 27, 2006

lets stop paying taxes

you know what ? chinese are the main contributors to the govt coffers. yes we are. for all that we give, what do we get in return ? yes nothing. zilch. its like working for ten years without leave and you finally want to go to watch world cup 2006 in germany, your boss tell you, "if you go, dont come back"

doesnt that pissed you off ? well that's what encik nazri told us. non-muslim dont fuck with islam, i'll fuck you up real good. come on, is that how you talk to a race that pay your salary ? the man got no respect.

you know what ? we should all stop paying taxes. yes stop paying taxes. i thought you go to jail for that ? no you dont. you're an individual, you are not a company. they are very linient with us. we should take advantage of that, since anyway they are still holding our excess money with them.

you should know this by now, its self assessment, so that mean you write whatever figures you like, and you dont enclosed your receipts or any documents for that matter.

so you add back every single reasonable allowances allowed, and you claim for a refund. if they want proof then, said you lost it or whatever, then if they need to add it back, make a scene and finally agree with them. that should save you at least 3-4 months before they start to process your file.

then when they have re-calculated your tax, they will sent you a JA form, which is a amended form J. dont pay yet, wait till they give you a final reminder letter to pay your taxes, which is normally a pink letter, with some court threatening words and a 14 day grace period. now you pay ? no fucking shit yet, you appeal, waste another month, appeal rejected, ask to pay in installment, that would take a week or two. so overall, you either get a refund or pay the balance of your taxes very much later, maybe 6 months later.

one more thing, please make sure you make a photocopy of all documents lodged with the income tax office.

and lastly, dont sent by hand, sent by mail. that way, it'll take even longer for them to process your case. it'll get somewhere, before actually given to the right person to process it.

but if you want a refund, sent it in personally to the direct person in charge, and call them every single day. soon enough, you'll receive your refund.

for the rest of you who dont have a tax file. dont bother. if you dont have a file, why do you need to pay ? buying a house ? use your ea form or letter from your employer, it will suffix.

dont pay taxes.

phak chew

everybody lets give a round of applause to those 22 ppl that got arrested for yesterday peaceful rally.
they had the balls and the courage to stand for what they believe in and be arrested at the same time.
you have our respect and honour. we salute you. everybody phak chew, phak chew.

and for those of you innocent bystanders just like me, just continue to do so, as your presence there alone is enough to aggitate the authorities. we did nothing wrong, as we all came individually or were just passing by when we saw all this commotion and decided to look see look see. if that is wrong, i have nothing to say.

newsflash, from malaysiakini Minister: Zero tolerance for fuel protests . looks like everytime they got some bad news for us, this nazri will announce it, think of it if you drop the r from his name he is a freaking nazi then, not surprise right ?

Sunday, March 26, 2006

calvin ayre



i did a post on forbes billionaire, need to add this guy in as well, you'll be amaze.

calvin ayre, overall wealth of usd 1 billion, does not pay i single dime in taxes. why and who the fuck is he ?

he is the owner of bodog.com an internet gambling thing. takes bet from 16 million customers, most of them from usa. online gambling is illegal in usa. the amount of revenue they make double that of sin city strip. so how does all this add up ? first ayre is not a us citizen. he stay in costa rica, his company is in costa rica's tax haven. the us law cannot touch him so far.

imagine that ! being rich and listed in the forbes billionaire's list and dont pay a single cent in tax.

klcc fuel protest

anyone went there ? klcc 10am ? i was there. just in time for the official release of the black balloons.

anyway i was there smack in klcc to catch the protest in action as an innocent bystander only, unfortunately. malaysia kini reported 1,500 ppl, i'm not so sure about that figure, actual ppl marching along with the banners and chanting the slogans are around 100 ppl or less. 1,500 ppl present in klcc, maybe yes.

i thought i could do it, join among the protestor, but as soon as i came out of the klcc putra station, and i saw the numbers of fru present, my balls shrunk to peanuts. maybe i'm just a coward, maybe you need to be there, to feel the atmosphere.

anyway, i didnt take a lot of pictures, as i wasnt standing very near to the action, i was actually standing near some policemen with machine guns that look like those in gta san andreas. i thought it was safer. when the protestors started to march towards where i was, i change position, i went to where all the fru trucks were park. i thought if any shit happen, i would just jump smack in the truck ! sound crazy. but that was what i thought.

let me tell you about the fru from my observation. this is the first time in my whole life that i saw a fru up close and in person. i kinda think the fru has three separate entities. one is the officers, two is the no brainers with the baton in hand and shields, they look like your first infantry troops that you would sent out in any pc game battles. and lastly the fru bad boys.

this fru bad boys are shit frightening. there seems to be about ten of them i think. they are huge, loud mouth mother fuckers, and they can really kick ass. their tone and their expression plus that swinging baton, can make you shit in your pants. i was there when they ask all the innocent bystanders to fuck off, i was shit terrified. i just ran across the street. they are like as if the fru kept them lock up in dark cages, underfed, being kick around all the time, you no what i'm saying, ppl that you abuse. then once in a while, you let them go out and they are terrifying. thats what they are, imagine that nz haka ritual face, thats how they look like. plus imagine the scariest time when someone fucked you and multiply that by 10. thats how terrifying they are.

heard this when one of the innocent bystanders ask a policeman on duty this.

man : datuk nak tangkap kita semua ke ?
cop : kalau salah tangkap lah
man : kita ini berhimpun secara aman
cop : ini malaysia lah
man : u pun gaji tak berapa, takkan you setuju harga minyak naik
cop : did not answer
man : habeh kalau tak boleh buat protest, nak buat apa ?
cop : tulis surat

i thought it was a very good answer, for a man in his situation.

later the kentucky derby came ! yes ! fru on horses. they were holding longer baton, which actually just look like a broom stick. it was the manner which they held the broom stick. just like a knight preparing for jousting. had a couple of pic though.


preparing for the kentucky derby

i didnt know they had group jousting

overall from what i saw as far that i could, the protestors were peaceful, all they did was chant and shouted slogans, nothing else, nobody broke any public properties, nobody burn any flag, nobody brought any weapons that i know off. it was a peaceful demonstration. some even brought family, wife, children and grandparents. it was peaceful. the only party that wasnt peaceful was the fru, police and any other enforcement officer that was there. there was no call for arrest, no need to chase after demonstrators or innocent bystanders, and no need to let loose the water canon. yes the water canon was flying in every direction, they were watering the plants, washing the klcc glass windows, the tarmac and of course relieving the crowd of their thirst. it's apparent the authorities see any sort/form of protest or demonstration other than BN as a nuisance. and as a nuisance they will use any force necessary to eradicate that nuisance even by force.

any actual police brutality i saw ? i didnt actually see any fru personnel whack kau anybody. but i heard they did, but i did see this. traffic police slapping innocent bystander expecially malay kids on motorbike, that stop to see the commotion. yes, they got slap at the back of their head with gloves on hand. this kids didnt do anything. all they did was stop their bike, and look see, look see. then came the police and ask them to balik, so they start their bike and before they could even move, whack! slap the back of the head. some was even talked to very harsh, as if they had no fucking right to be there.

another observation i saw was, there are a lot of police personnel in plain clothes, standing with the crowd. they didnt do anything, but just stand there observing. any chinese knows, we say they have "soi yong". they werent just looking at something, but scanning around. or maybe they are....

another observation, was, maybe i'm wrong, but i dont think so. the number of chinese that attended the protest was minimal either as a supporter or as an innocent bystander. so their percentage was small. i notice the authorities only harras malay & indian, not chinese, i could be wrong, but maybe not. i was standing just there quite beside the bike where he got smack in the head. they didnt even look at me. guess they didnt want to get into trouble with micheal chong later on.

lastly not to judge, but i think it could have been better. the protestor werent organized, maybe not everyone like to be hauled up by the police, neither do i. its just that there was around 100 fru, plus some another 50-60 cops. abt 12 fru trucks, 3-4 police trucks and 2 water canons. thats not a lot. compared to 1,500 so claimed. if 1,500 organized ppl were to lets say form a human shield, 150 fru + cops + water canon, wont be able to stop, how much water does a water canon truck hold ? do the maths, once you cornered a a handful of fru with like a crowd of 50, its like picking candy from a kid. yes i know the water canons are spiked water. mixture of water & acid i was told. you get itchy all over. then get near to the truck, disable the wires or something like that, remember 1,500 ppl. easier said than done. i know. we are malaysians, we are peaceful ppl. what can i say, i'm one of them sometimes. just remember that show "the last castle" how robert redfort took down a prison with some careful planning. also i noticed the fru seems to be sound motivated. but of course they have eyes on the sky. with proper planning, it would have been better.

so it seems fru 3, protestors 0.

it was a good experience overall, better than my formula 1 experience. that i can bet.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

spanking new office, same old people - putrajaya

i though i just swallowed it, but when i saw that advert on tv, no way i was going to just swallow it without putting up a fuss.

you know that advert on tv where it starts with a bunch of people sitting on a bus, and one man drop some documents, and a chinese lady picks it up and return it back to the man. yeah, yeah, that advert on how the govt servant was not too efficient last time, but now with a spanking new office and larger i might add, they are more efficient.

IT'S A FUCKING LIE !
A FUCKING SCAM !
BULLHSIT ! HORSE SHIT !

i work in a accounting firm, and let me tell you ppl that only see these govt servant once a year or once a while, they are still the same, no change in the attitude, new environment thats all, but everything is still the damn same. last time all that screw up is quite forgiveable, but now, no fucking sir, putrajaya is not like a stone throw away from the office, and its fucking hot as well. i'm not about to go back and forth to get additional documents or amend my documents if you didnt tell me earlier.

actually they have been slower than last time. things that normally get approved in two weeks, now takes a month, and yet they have the balls to print this lie "keputusan akan diketahui dalam masa dua minggu" "terima kasih kerana berurusan terus dengan kami" & "berurusan terus dengan kami adalah mudah"

let me give you an example.

early march i went to the department of immigration ("doi") to get a special pass for my client. line up to take a number, women told me no. is finished. and if she gave me that no., i wont be able to submit my application before their office closed. i say i dont care, just give me the fucking no. she gave me the fucking no. 1.5 hours later, which was at 4.30pm, its was my turn, i submitted it and got a acknowledgement letter informing me that i would have my result in three working days. it was a friday, so that mean result would be out in next wednesday. fine.

wednesday, i went to check on the outcome, guess what its not approved yet, wish to speak to someone in charge, guess what everyone went to seminar, fucked, what can i do ? went back. started calling them on thursday, friday, monday, tuesday, it was no fucking answer, my computer cannot check what you request for, let me pass the line to someone else, which most of the time will end up with the line being disconnected. so after a week, i went there again. check on my outcome again, guess what, no result yet. they saw the application date "3rd march 2006", today is the 15, which is about nearly 2 weeks already with no outcome. women said please refer to the counter that served your application. went there, the officer was not there, ask where he was, they said "seminar" ask what i want ? i said look at my application, saw it, saw the date, took it to the superior, superior came back with her, started ransacking that guys place that took in my application, guess what ? my application is still sitting nicely in the "to do" tray while he goes for his fucking seminar !

of course the officer personally took care of it and 10 minutes later, he said it was approved and proceed to pay. after paying, they ask you to come back again in 3 days time, to collect the processed passport, 3 days later, passport not processed, had to wait another 2 hours for it to be processed and guess what again ? a special pass is normally approved for 28 days. since i paid on the 15 of march, i would expect the pass to be approved until at least 12 of april, but fucked no. it it 28 days from the day i submit my application which was on 3rd march, so my special pass is only valid till 1 april.

efficient ? my fucking cyrix 166++ processor is more efficient than that.

"BERKHIDMAT UNTUK SENDIRI"

a day at mid valley

went to mid valley today, did some grocery shopping. bought some ps2 game, yeh i just bought 25 to life, heard it was great, suppose to be better than gta san andreas. we will see. mid valley top floor have this sex shop, so i walk inside it while carrying my 1 year++ old kid. went inside, before i could even see anything, a dude came up to me and said " sin-sang, sai low koh emm yap tak li toe leh " i stare at that guy like a dummy and left. what the fuck does my 1++ year old kid is going to know about colourful condoms and sex toys ! fantastic. why he's going to start masturbating at 2 years old ? fuck.

then i wander off to the amusement park, which i was rather amuse with this game they had. first you pick a prize, then you spin a wheel like the wheel of fortune, it has numbers like 1,2,3,4,5,0,-1,-2,-3,-4 & -5. and you need to press a button to stop the auto wheel. the trick is to score a combination of over 5, then the prize will topple over and you win. sound easy right, but everyone loses, everytime it reaches the 5 mark, the next turn is definitely a negative number. chances of winning, i think zero. what prizes they giving away ? handphones, expensive hp, like the sony ericcson w550. catchy isnt it, i was tempted, but having eaten more bowl of rice then this youngster, i decline.

so come lunch time, wife decide to eat at kim gary. personally i dont quite dig kim gary kind of food even like Wong kok char chan teng. food somehow taste very funny. there is no taste and, and its funny. cant use any other word to describe it. but ppl still make a beeline to it. i remember the 1st time i ate there, we ask for a recomendation, fuck i was eating baked rice in cheese and tomato sauce, fried chicken wing in cheese and tomato sauce and some funny tasting drink. who the fuck actually eat cheese & tomato sauce with rice ? nevermind. you drank that cham peng ? it was like quarter tea spoon of coffee, quarter tea spoon of tea and two table spoon of milk. who the fuck drink this kind of crap. all i want is a ice lemon tea, but knowwwwwwww, they have flavouring. fucked. what we ate there ? i think it was a bowl of noodle with pork chop and rice with pork chop as well. what i had ? french toast and chicken wing. plain fried chicken wing. if you dont know what to order if you get stuck in one of this restaurant, look for sandwich, simple sandwich, its a good bet. fried rice ? noooooooo, tried some black pepper fried rice, fuck. spagetti ? same fuck. best tip, avoid that fucking place, though its not that over price but not that cheap, food as i say taste funny.

you might call me old fashion or out of date, but fuck, they taste not to my taste bud. my taste bud is simple. roast or grill, plenty of oil. fattening and lots of cholestral. yes i die early, but i die enjoying what i eat. freash oyster, steaks, lamb of racks, crab, anything that sent your cholestral level sky rocketting. i'll eat it.

happy dining.

have you had a threesome before



one of the thing that i felt that i didnt get to do before i got married was have a threesome. i mean it looks good on the porno, two chick and a guy or two guys with a chick. or is that all make believe. i have no experience to tell from, neither do i know anyone that has told me that they had a threesome before. so its just like a assumption of how great a threesome would be.

maybe malaysians dont do threesome. you seen any malaysian porn that does threesome ? indon yes, thai yes, but not malaysia. not even the home videos or the uni student home videos, no threesome.

so lets imagine a threesome, you and two chicks, while you are fucking the chick, the other chick lick your balls or dick as it slide in and out of the pussy, i think that would be rather "cho teng" dont you think. or you're licking some pussy while fucking, thats like double work dont you think, normaly you go down on each other then you fuck, its like a gift exchange, you suck, i lick, we fuck. now is i lick, you suck, we fuck & i lick again. its like doing overtime. or you're fucking the chick and she go lesbo with the other chick, that dont seem right. the only fun part i can think off is the making out part, two chick cant get enough of you, and you're not preoccupied fucking yet, you have the time to grope them four breast. wow four breast. the best part would definitely the two chicks sharing a BJ, two mouths and two tongues on your dick. wow.

but on the other hand, a chick fuck with two guys, seems to work out fine. she can get DP, else she can get fuck and suck dick at the same time. fuck and make out with the other guy, i thought i read it somewhere that threesome is actually pleasure for the chick, she get fuck in the pussy, her tits get grope by one of the guys and she is either doing a BJ or making out with the other guy, so all her senses area are being sensationalize, and she get her multiple orgasm. if a guy did a multiple orgasm, my guess is he wont be able to walk for at least a day and he'll be dead tired if not dead.

so the million dollar question, how do you get your partner to agree to do a threesome. for a guy it would be tough, imagine to tell your chick that you want to fuck someone else beside her together with her. you know how bitches go about this things, saying you dont love them anymore, you dont care for them anymore, you want to change partner and all that shit. my best bet is to watch a porno with her, the one with the lesbo scene, theree chicks at least. then while watching you can ask her whether she likes that or not, if she does then ask her how it should be done with you being excluded of course, then you casually ask, how you can fit into all this. is she somehow agree, for goodness sake dont suggest anyone, if you do that, they know then that you're been wanting to fuck her sister/best friend/friend/mother for a long time now, but lag the balls to say it. so you'll have to let her choose, of course you can guide her, just dont be too obvious, and remember if you have a threesome, please do inform ducky. and for a start pretend to be not enjoying it, as if you're shy, you get the picture.

what if the chick wants a threesome, just ask the guy for it, he will be very happy to oblige, but make sure its a ffm not a fmm, cause then it'll get competitive. and you're fucking with some other dude, not him, and you might be enjoying his dick over his. and somehow those dicks are bound to touch, and eew, touch another dick with your dick. hell no.

happy threesome. Posted by Picasa

Friday, March 24, 2006

I love my toilet

the toilet is the 5th place i hang around the most in a day. 1st being the bed, then the office, then the pc, then the tv and then my toilet.

i've got dunk before and hug the toilet bowl to sleep after puking in it or thought i was going to puke. no i dun have that picture like inevitable puking all over the floor and got someone to take a picture and showed the world and thought it was a kodak moment.

i've wake up in the morning countless time and only to find myself fast asleep sitting on the toilet bowl while believe it or not relieving myself the same time.

i've also sometimes woke up, on the shower, and fall asleep on the floor again, with the shower still running !

think of it i've slept on the road during camping trip, in a pick up truck no i wasnt hitch hiking neither was i broke back mountain, on a hospital bench my first kid was born at the selayang hospital very cheap just around rm300++ but for that whole ordeal i think i didnt sleep for abt 48 hrs, on a chair (at home), on a chair (at a shopping complex, i think it was near the kis department at metrojaya in midvalley, very comfortable), on the deck of a ship, no not a ship, those floating thing you take to redang island. i was so tired that i just slept under the sun on the front most part of that floating thingy. on the beach, on a baby pool, on the swimming bench, countless of beds, countless of floors, at office once, yes in genting after a losing session together with all the losers, somewhere on the benches i think again, at the back sit of a car, i came home one day and forgot my keys, so i slept at the back seat with windows wind down and my leg hanging out of it. in a rubber estate thats was when i was a kid during one of those scouting trips we cycled to this place and back for some chief scout exam. lights around the estate was around very early, and ppl woke up very early like 4-5 in the morning. during classes in school and college. at govt dept, and yes one of my fav, when i use to ride my kawasaki kips 150, by the way reaches a max speed of 180km/h. at that speed, everything seems to past by very freaking fast, scary but at the same time freaking "chee kek". as i was saying, when it rains i would stop below a bridge and just sleep on the bike while the wind and rain just shower in the background.

come to think of it that was the good old time.

shit forget to do the post on the sedition act, yoda you do lah, you better at farking ppl.

dont sent email if you're in china

one of my fav magazine to read is forbes. either for entertainment or pleasure or knowledge, is a great read. from articles of rags to riches, to oppresive govt (malaysia included) to new innovative product to politics and economics, forbes have it all. and of course i subscribe to it.

have not been reading my forbes recently until know, with the current issue being the billionaire list, with bill gate at the top again. i think it was 2 issue before, there is this great article on internet in china. we all know internet in china is restricted and censored, but to what extent ? read this rather long article title cracks in the wall which is rather interesting on what this chinese do to prevent from being caught and those less fortunate ppl that got caught and are serving prison term, just for writing and posting things like what we do here in ducky.

my guess is malaysia is in the steps of doing the same. so if one day you click on ducky and you find a blank blogsite, ducky & yoda are in kamunting camp then. maybe not yoda, as he would deny that his call sign is yoda. me ? i wont deny, i'll kick and scream murder all the way, but i wont deny what i believe in. see yoda i've already commented for you.

DONT FORGET THIS SUNDAY IF IT IS STILL ON !
KLCC PARK 10AM - PEACEFUL PETROL PROTEST
ORGANISE BY MTUC, NGOs & POLITICAL PARTIES

since this is a friendly protest, bring your children, your party hats, your party games, and clothes to change, as it might get hot and wet and soaking wet just like that party in thailand, where everybody get everybody else wet. dont worry theres plenty of water to give around from our beloved fru water cannon. there we'll also be a strong person contest, to see who can withstand the water cannon spray the longest without falling down.

i believe there's alucky draw as well, but for that you must deposit your "teng key" with the abang fru, lucky winners would get a good beating from the fru i think. there might also be a special repeat stunt show by a helicopter crew that will fly as low as possible to keep the friendly crowd entertaint. and if we are lucky there might even be a certain female winged friend streaker running around in klcc.

so see you there.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

once upon a time ago

of late ducky has not been interesting anymore nor funny even i have to admit it. other than my once a while sick joke and yoda's always sick joke, its just not humorous any more. well i'm not the only one. even kennysia is not that humorous as before. looks like something is making all of us pull our long face. the only comedy release you get is from the comment side in ducky. this just have to stop. from now on, ducky is going to be funny again. lets start. funny, i cant think of anything funny to say. funny things have to start with imagination. wild imagination. strange ideas and of course i need to be happy as well.

i know. childhood memories. lets try again.

one of my fav thing to do when i was a kid, was fishing. i fucking love to fish. it was the thrill of baiting the fish, and then pull the line just in time for the kill. then i thought it was better than sex, now i think it's just a notch below sex. we fished at those used mining pools, and usual fishes are of course the black talapia and sometimes the red talapia and sometimes even luckier a haruan, then you can make "who pau".

the red talapia are a little smarter, they seem to have graduated from the university of avoid that hook in your mouth compared to the black talapia which are stupid ass fish. its a real stupid fish i tell you. once we brought along a friend that dont really fish, so he just lepak there. we caught some fish and gave him one to play, he hook the fish back onto the line and threw it back in the pond just for fun, after a while, he noticed that there is another black tilapia swimming beside his fallen comrade, so he pull the line here and there, but notice the damn fish kept following the hooked fish, so fed-up with it, he pulled the line up, and behold two fishes on the line, the other swimming comrade somehow got caught in the other free hook. thats just how smart they are.

all fish caught are measured for their size according to standard bata slipper, we keep fishy that are size 7 above, you see, the tilapia has a big head and wide tail, so if you cut the head and tail off, its just fucking small to eat. so we measure the fish, if they are not up to our size, we throw them back into the pond, but sometimes we are not that friendly. we would fill a plastic bag with water put the fish in it, and tie back the plastic bag and threw it back into the pond, cruel ? thats not very cruel. cruel is this, we like hand size fish, once we caught hand size tilapia, we take out the ang phow, shaft it inside its big fucking mouth, light the fuse and throw, bang ! tilapia without head, bang ! tilapia without gills, bang ! tilapia with no body. bang ! nothing left at all. the funny thing is the ang phow somehow suit nicely in their mouth. it looks like a white chick gaging on a nigger's dick.

and you know what this black tilapia eats ? every evening, when the farmer is cleaning up the khinzir farm, and all the khinzir shit come flowing into the stream, its like a feeding frenzy, thats the same time the hua na lang cast their net for fishing to sell at the market. dont believe leh.

then we have some idiotic friends that like to tag along to go fishing. there is this kid that got a fishing hook stuck inside his whole thumb. imagine a hook, imagine a thumb, imagine a hook in the thumb, the only thing you can see is the thumb and the part where the hook has a hole for tie your line to. fucking stupid boy. the funny thing was, he didnt even cried, all he did was showed it to some friend, and we just ignore him, until he said, i got a fucking hook in my fucking thumb, then we notice. he went to the hospital, came back 3 hours later, with bandages wrap around his thumb. obviously i ask for my hook back, he didnt reply, but just a dark stare.

the hua na lang is lazy

you read that survey conducted by some ppl, about malaysian tolerance with each other ? well its not surprising, if you are then you must have been living overseas most of your life.

the survey showed that, the majority people concluded the following, i wont go into details of percentage & all.

1. the hua na lang are fucking lazy. i totally agree with that. i work in a accounting firm, so i deal with the cheng hu lang all the time. the roc, the lhdn, the custom, the stamp duty, jkr, dbkl, etc. there is one malay chap at pgrm stamping office, he read his papers during work and if its your turn for him to assess your valuation, and if he is reading his paper, you better wait for him to finish his article, else you'll get fucking from this guy.

2. the teng lang are fucking greedy. i also agree with this. i have not gotten a single increment nor bonus for the pass 3 years. every year they say no fucking money. but that does not stop them from acquiring properties, doing office renovation, buying computers, hiring new staff, everything under the sky other than give you a raise or a bonus.

3. the kay neh nah are a fucking distrustful lot. this i also agree but i would like to add that this also apply to all the other fucking races as well. the kay neh nah are this way, because they are being left out by the cheng hu. so to get even and get at par with the rest of the races, they scam their way through to the top. cant blame them for this, everyone seems to be stepping on them all the time.

personally as a chinese, i dislike all races including my own, no especially my own. because it's always money, money, money and more money. when the chinese pay for something he expect fucking 1st class service. they are the no. 1 double parkers, which i fucking hate. i always wish i drive a fucking 18 wheeler and i'll just bang kau every single car that is double park, especially all those rich motherfucking cars. and the worse part about the teng lang is that they are survivors, price increase, all they are going to do is crap abt it in the coffee shop. thats all. street rally ? they will tell waste of time. just work harder and earn more money. this is the time when the hua na lang is the most cherished, fighting for what you believe in. or just looking for a fight, which the kay neh nah are also font of doing.

conclusion ? i am waiting for a may 13 to happen again one of this day, and i believe this time its going to be different, its going to be all for your self. the gap of those that are rich and those that are poor is getting wider all the time. when may 13 happen again, it'll a malaysia armageddon.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

FUEL PROTEST

THERE IS GOING TO BE ANOTHER RALLY THIS SUNDAY 26 MARCH 2006 AT KLCC PARK

THE RALLY IS OF COURSE TO PROTEST THE INCREASE IN PETROL PRICE

READ MALAYSIAKINI FOR LATEST DEVELOPMENT

RALLY IS ORGANISED BY MTUC, NGO AND POLITICAL PARTIES

YODA AND DUCKY WILL BE THERE, BUT I DOUBT I'LL BRING ALONG MY CAMERA.

WHO SHOULD COME ? PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO TALK LOUDLY, PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO HAVE A FREE SHOWER FROM THE WATER CANON, (YOU WOULD NEED TO BRING ALONG YOUR OWN SHAMPOO AND SOAP THOUGH) AND PEOPLE WHO WANTS TO GET AN EXCUSE FROM NOT GOING TO WORK ON MONDAY.

BEFORE YOU GET ALL EXCITED, AND START LOADING YOUR AK47 AND GRENADE LAUNCHER, THIS IS A FRIENDLY PROTEST, WHAT THIS MEAN IS THAT YOU GO THERE SMILING AND SHAKING HANDS WITH THE FRU AND ANY OTHER AUTHORITIES.

SEE YOU GUYS THERE.

the filthy rich

bill gates once again top the list for the 12th year as the world richest man. lucky we all use pirate copies of windows.

the top ten.

2. warren buffet
3. carlos slim - mexican telco
4. ingvar kamprad - ikea guy
5. lakshmi mittal - indian dude that owns world largest steel company
6. paul allen - microsoft cofounder
7. bernard arnault - lvmh owner, now you know, why lv cost a bomb to buy, but the cost to produce ? he wont be a billionaire if it wasnt dirt cheap, isnt it.
8. prince alwaheed - saudi arabia investor
9. kenneth thompson - canadian media baron
10. li ka shing - who the fuck dont know him !

how did the malaysian did ?


malaysian richest man

114. robert kuok - usd5.0 billion - you know this guy
147. ananda krishnan - usd4.3 billion - astro guy
245. lim goh tong - usd2.8 billion - genting guy
365. teh hong piow - usd2.1 billion - public bank guy
382. quek leng chan - usd2.0 billion - hong leong bank guy
486. lee shin cheng - usd1.6 billion - ioi group guy
698. yeoh tiong lay & family - usd1.1 billion - the ytl ppl that own bukit bintang and surrounding
746. tiong hiew king - usd1.0 billion - sarawak timber king

which malaysian didnt make it ?

795. ducky, by 3 cents
794. yoda, by 2 cents

blardy hell, should have listed ducky in the london stock exchange.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Sepang Fucking 1 pictures



our free tickets, next time we need the free parking stickers as well

we arrived at sepang fucking 1

my rm4.00 bleu 600ml mineral water
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yoda's rm16.00 foster

highlight of the day, a smoking williams

other then this williams and;

schumacher ferrari's, the rest of the photos were just fence or real small
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we werent the only idiots there


most of the time, its either the front or;

the rear ! and sometimes;

nothing at all !
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victory lap was slow enough for us to snap some pictures


the tent that robbed us all of our thirst

yoda's big bust girl (side shot)

(frontal shot)
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that's what this old man wore to the race.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Sepang Fucking 1

yoda and i went to sepang fucking 1 yesterday to watch the fucking 1 grand prix. why all the fucking 1, let me tell you why.

journey till the sepang toll was a ok.

then nightmare begins, kuala lumpur traffic jam style towards the parking area. it was bumper to bumper and exhaust to exhaust, till the car park. then terror strikes, some other friends call us and informed us that parking was RM50.00. yes fucking rm50.00 just to park your car underneath some palm oil. its not even a proper car park. so we left the parking area for FREE parking. after some time we found one. park our car there, and suddenly one fat malay boy pop out.

fat boy : bang rm15.00.
me : apa ? rm15.00 ?
fat boy : ya bang, saya ditugas disini untuk jaga parking.
me : mana you punya tag
fat boy : saya extra bang, tak ada tag
me : mana pondok untuk kutip tiket ?
fat boy : ribut sudah tiup bang.
me : kepala pundek, jom balik lah.
my other friend : tak apa, saya bagi dia tiket free, nah dik ambik tiket ni.
fat boy : thank you brother.
my other friend : puki mak, lanciou, cibai.

so we walk to our place which was C3. at the entrance, officials check our bags, i thought it was for bomb or catapult. but fucking no. all drinking bottles are not to be brought in. so what the fuck can we do. i have to leave 1 dozen drinking water at the entrance.

water price there ? i drank a 600ml blue mineral water. it cost me rm4.00. yoda drank a foster beer, rm16.00 fucking roos.

the race ? for 1st timers, it was great. the cars were loud and fucking fast. i took about 50 pictures of the F1 cars, but 20 was at least just the fence without the cars, 10 was like the front or just the rear. these cars are super fast. you cant imagine how fast this cars are until you seat there at the track and watch them go zzzzommmmmmm past you. i cant describe it.

pictures ? maybe next post, left it at home.

overall ? sepang is hot and sticky, just like putrajaya. F1 is loud, lighting fast and an expensive affair.

yes i forgotten, it took us about 45 minutes to walk from our car to the track where we sat. that's how far it was.

one more thing we saw, was the number of buses that belong to the ministry of education. it was like 100s. now we know where the saved fuel subsidies went. improving public transport, yes improving the ministry of education transportation system. najib didnt lie, he just didnt tell the whole truth.

next year ? dont think so, unless we get free parking.

maybe next year we'll go early, and you'll hear someone saying, "bang parking kat sini rm30.00, percuma satu tiket F1 dan dua botol air mineral" terima kasih yeh bang.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

My frightening experience

UPDATED VERSION BY YODA
Coloured in red are my genius contributions

Hi. Shitheads

Must blog about my very the frightening experience when i was driving in a kampung area how i wished Yoda was with me at that time. The road only got one lane. At that time very jam because in front i thought got accident. But when i look in front i can see it was because cows was crossing the road which begs the question Why the fuck the cow cross the fucking road?. A few cows cross the road and then a few cars pass. A few more cows and it was my turn to pass bloody shit damn sien wan. But then my car cannot pass full through so i can try see my car harder or the cow harder. So a cow come straight to me and bang kau my car. I thought my car got bang very good but actually nothing one. After the cow bang me, the mad cow become mad kau with me and start to chase my car somemore like the jurassic park 1 when jeff goldblum kkc also shrink trying to drive off in the jeep. The cars in front also moving slowly and i follow slowly but the cow chase kau me quite fast like when jeff goldblum idiot whack the gear into 3rd gear and the english hunter tiu him and then put back to 4th gear to try to outrun the T rex. I was very frightened and i called out for Yoda. Luckily the opposite car also same car with me was turning behind me. And so the cow chase the car instead. I hope nothing happen to that car but if something happen, well though luck. Shit happens man. Dont come and find me

Lastly please excuse my poor english or go to hell. I was chinese ed but Yoda promised me to give me private tuition.

Thank you for wasting your time here. now go wank off at some far far away place.
Cockroach

Friday, March 17, 2006

how to fill up your income tax return form the ducky way

this whole last week while yoda was writing his shit and all, i was just reading malaysiakini, malaysiatoday, jeff ooi & rocketman. there are a lot of things that was said and written, but did it create anything constructive ?

was the price of petrol lowered to its original price after the rally ? which if you didnt know, was not allowed to be printed on the media or telivised. was those ppl in shah alam compensated for the flood that ruin their homes and cars ? how about the police force, did they changed their behaviour ? did anyone that was responsible for that matter got fired or suspended ?

nothing, nothing happened. big rally in klcc, any good that brought us ? nothing. mas making loss again, everyone grumble, is mas still in operation ? of course. nothing we do and write in malaysia is ever going to be constructive. some smart alec will tell me, thats the price for peace. fuck peace, yes i wasnt there in 1969 for that may 13 riot. i dont know. but one thing for sure i know, is that, that incident actually brought more benefit to the govt than the ppl. anytime any cross racial shit happen, may 13 1969 will be told again. nobody wants that to happen again.

so what am i going to do ? something. one thing i know how to do which is my profession is tax. tax dead line for all you employed income ppl other than those having business will be due soon on 30 april 2006. dont know how fill in the form ? let me guide you, but just on this few essential one only.

well some of you may know all this already, but its just for the benefit of those that didnt know.

if you look under your "pelepasan dan pendapatan bercukai"

perubatan ibu bapa - this is medical for your parents only, but who the fuck cares, i put my medicals, my kids medical, my dental bill, any thing that relates to medical its there, cannot ? its self assessment, you dont attached the receipts together with your submission. your chances of being check is like 1 in a 100,000 ? i guess only ok. dont blame me fot that. then why not the whole lump sum of rm5,000 ? hello, in tax never put a round figure unless its real, ok.

peralatan ibu bapa - if you bought one of those message chair that cost a bomb, just claim it here. why should you care, the govt dont care, remember they raised the fucking oil price just so they can continue their luxurious life.

individu yang hilang upaya - lets not pushed it here, and touch wood if you want to claim.

yuran pendidikan dalam bidang yang diluluskan (sendiri) - i put my kid kindergarden fee for the whole year, so thats about rm3,000. its actually for your own further studies.

perubatan bagi penyakit yang sukar diubati - this i put in other ppl medical bills that they are too afraid to claim for fear of being caught by the authorities.

pemeriksaan perubatan penuh - close eye, straight away claim full rm500

pembelian buku/majalah - sama claim full rm700

faedah pinjaman perumahan mengikut peruntukan seksyen 46A - dont get too greedy, ok.

isteri - follow law
bayaran alimoni kepada bekas isteri - follow law
suami follow law
suami/isteri yang hilang upaya follow law
anak - as far as possible lie all you can, its rm1,000 for a kid you know. but ease off on that anak hilang upaya thing, touch wood again.

insurance nyawa & kwsp - being chinese the rm6,000 is definite

insurans pendidikan & perubatan - tembak all rm3,000

premium anuiti kwsp - little ppl actually have this, so best skip it

lain-lain pelepasan yang dibenarkan - none

ok everyone happy, lets go to the next section "cukai kena dibayar"

nothing here just your rebat cukai. only rebate a chinese guy has is the pembelian komputer peribadi. whats your definition of a komputer peribadi ? since the limit is only rm500 and you can only claim it once every 3-4 years, i suggest, if you're not buying a pc, keep the receipts for pc upgrade, memory chips, harddisk, cd burner, mouse, keyboard, i mean they are actually pc components, and if they disallowed, fight for it, explain in detail to this mothers, they'll get blurr and all and you might just about get it. but the trick is to shut up after you get it.

another part is "pendapatan tahun kebelakangan yang belum dilaporkan" - if you fill this part up, you're an idiot. if you are paid last year bonus this year. just keep it. dont report it. what the fuck for you want to tell them ? you think the govt get extra income they'll share it by distributing it through your epf kah ? what the tax guys will do is reopen your last year tax file and re-compute, the you pay more taxes.

thats about it, but make sure you're doing it as an individual not as a business entity, as they tend to fuck up the business entity more than the individuals. so what if they query you and ask for receipts ? show them and if they said cannot, you tell them you are doctor, lawyer, teacher, blogger, not tax agent, how you know lah to fill in the tax return form. fuck kow them lah. or else better, "itu hari hujan lebat, banjir, semua resit sudah basah dan sudah koyak, mana ada lagi"
Whazzup. My name is Cockroach and i am blogging for ducky. Yoda left and i have to takeover bcoz he ask me to. How to ping also i don't know. Have to ask Yoda or call Ducky to ping. Any one can help me to remove all this Yoda styles here because he is not going to do it.

Also Mr. Ducky please stop calling me hotchick.

Can i ask you a question. Where you get my pic?

Question to Yoda -> Why you look like old man? I mistake u for ducky and ducky for u when i first come and see yr blog.

What should i blog? Post pics next time?

New Teammate ?

Well just like in F1, new season, everyone has a new teammate. So in ducky, we might have a new teammate as well. seeing how well a hot chick seems to get ppl to view your blog every minutes or so, here in ducky, we thought we do the same here.


do you know her ?
she could just be our newest member yet.
negotiations are currently on the way.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Genius

My last post. And i cant wait to get out of here. Someone else gonna be blogging here tomorrow. And i heard it is gonna be a chick.

Remember i said something about decency yesterday? I am going to do just that. Redefining the permisible decency of blogging.

I will not even try to write a post. I will not be decent enough to finish this last post

* give everyone the middle finger*

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Spread some love around, lol!

As the title suggest....

.
.
.
.

This is a fucking sham for all you anti-pseudoviolence people.

If you think the great Yoda is capable of what the title says, your a shit and you can fuck off now.

If not, your still a shit. But your my kind of shit. Please proceed below for my genius post.

.
.
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First, a news for you. This is my second last post. I had an agreement with Ducky that i will post 1 post per day, for 7 days in his blog. Just to test if anyone out there appreciates this type of art in writing and the appreciation of my genius posts! Of course the first part seems neither here nor there and the second part needs no proof. But anyway, i am out of here after tomorrow. After that you can have the sissy ass ducky for your lameass read in this blog.


ok. at this stage, i have been thinking for 20 minutes without any thing to write. Well i have told you all that you are my type of shit already. So it should be sufficient for you and lets call it a day here *inspiration*

,
,
,
BLOG READERS ARE HARD TO PLEASE SONS OF BITCHES.

Yeah thats what you are if youre reading this blog. I thought of calling it a day before remembering those SOB's who leave comments about how things should be done and all that!

I vaguely remember some comments posted that says my post is too violent, evil, that i got some beef against woman, politicians and etc.

The question is, am i doing some kind of school essay report and the readers are suppose to be the mentor or supervisor in which they are trying to grade or guide me?

Sometimes i get comments commending me for making a nice post and next a comment for my post having an evil sounding woman beating shit.

Now that i said what i want to say, the next person who gives a negative comment will get the YODA SUBMISSION HOLD applied to him/her. Which is the extension of the infamous and widely feared YODA HEADLOCK.

So after saying all this, my post tomorrow will redefine the whole standard of permissible decency of blogging. If youre not interested in this kind of shit, please dont come. Not for the faint hearted!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

How the world works if there are no violence

Ducky has been saying that my post are 'evil' and that it promotes violence to woman. In which i replied who the fuck gives a shit! Really! But for the interest of the sensitivity of the assholes that reads this blog, i am gonna cut down on the violence. By some degree lah. Abit less lah.

Without violence, what can i blog about?

For a few years now, i have noticed that the bollywood actors looks a lot like our bangla labourers! I wanted to blog about it and show everyone what a genius that i am if not for some motherfucker beat me to it. I just never came around to it. what a wasted opportunity. Imagine all the controversial shit that will come to this blog! So now the first word of wisdom,

NEVER TRY TO FUCK THINGS UP TOMORROW WHAT YOU CAN FUCK UP TODAY!

Sometimes my thought will go drifting back to the good old days when everyone is just alot nicer than now. Remember those days when someone driving in a car wants to signal that he ( a lot less woman drivers then and a lot less accidents. you do the maths) is cutting in or turning right, he rolls down the window and put out his hands and wave instead of signalling right with the car's signal light? Yeah those were the days where people have moral fibres stronger than a fiber of a hibiscus plant(to show what a genius i am. look it up if you dont believe). Come to think of it maybe the govt should abolish the probation system but still maintain the P sticker for perempuan drivers. And now how many of you have complained about people who gives you shit on the road? Now what the fuck is wrong with these people? I think they are missing the Golden rule! The rule that should be a yardstick evertime someone wants to piss another driver off. The second word of wisdom,

NEVER DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO UNTO ME!

Now and then i read some low lifes blog just for some good laughs. The ones that usually takes the cake are those assholes that complain about their jobs being like shit. Really these are the funniest sons of bitches! They complain and complain but still stick to their jobs. What the fuck happened to principles? If you dont like it, just shove it! Why are you bitching like a bitch? Or if i am reading you correctly, why are you taking it like somebody's bitch? Now before you smarten up and blow a hole through the head of your boss ( if you dont intend to keep your job) or smarten up and go give your boss a blow job ( if you intend to keep your job) , please peruse my final words of wisdom of the post,

THE GRASS IS ALWAYS NICER TO SMOKE ON THE OTHER SIDE!

Ok thats it for my words of wisdom. i only give 3 because it would be the maximum that your puny brains could absorb.

Monday, March 13, 2006

How the world should really work

How the world should really work IF the bitch were smart.

Sex.

The world consist of powerful men. And all powerful men could not resist good sex from chun chicks. Example, the powerful Yoda.

first of all the chick must be damn chun. must also be alot younger than angel.

when some chun chick make some powerful men shiok shiok and stop halfway and demands something, surely the powerful men would give anything lah!

Now say if the powerful men was GW bush, and the chick wants him to nuke russia, what you think would happen? world war 3 motherfuckers!

closer to home, if some chicks were to do the same to pak lah and demand for a decrease in petrol price, there wouldnt be a need for protest! Hell if she demands that pak lah nuke russia, i think he would also find a way to do that!

and now i could imagine a thousand guys shaking in their pants and imagining what would happen if the bitches rule the world. But luckily Yoda is here and i am on top of things. Small chance in hell i would allow the bitch to get the better of us!

The counter.
The 100% working counter to the bitch is :

Say the bitch is sucking your dick and she suddenly stop halfway and demands that you gove her half of your life savings.

What would you do?

Some motherfuckers who did not have the privilage of my genius instructions would have given half their life savings to the bitch. I will in my comming post teach you shitheads how to beat the shit out of her to get back your money. But sure you could randomly beat the shit out of her. You would feel great in the process, but you would probably not see a sen of your money. No choice, you have to watch this space to get back your money. And no rush here. Feel free to indulge on some random feel good beatings.

Now back to the bitch sucking your dick halfway and stopped while demanding you give her your life savings, What you should do is.....


1st give her a slap and tell her it is for her audacity of asking for favours from you
then, give her another one and tell her it is because she stopped sucking your dick.
Finally, raise your hand and threaten another slap.

I GUARANTEE you she would be most obliged to continue sucking dick.

Now, AM I A GENIUS OR WAT?

How the world works

Today, Yoda is gonna tell you how the world works. And this is not some type of lecture to the stupid like most media that you read. It is more inspiring.


How the fuck does the world works? Money. End of post.

Shit head!

And i am not sorry for wasting your time!

In the bolehland, whenever there is new policy or directive or any change of system, you can be assured that someone would profit from it. Not you or me but a bunch of people higher up.

Now you wouldnt think that the touch n go cards and our new ic are free would you? Well maybe we dont pay for the cards but someone is paying for it. The govt is paying for it. With the taxpayers money. 20mil cards if it comes to rm10 per card is Rm 200 mil. Well someone is getting alot richer now. No, not cronys but those people themselves. afterall, why let someone do it when you could do it yourself.

Petronas profit? you wouldnt see one sen of it! It is all divided up and shared amongst themselves.

saving 4 bil in subsidy to probably establish a huge ass bus consortium or sorts. Then somebody will get the contract to import the busses, somebody will get a maintenance contract, somebody with connections would get a high paid job in the company.

GLCs losses? after provisions for kickbacks and the network of contracts!

AND for every single project by the govt, you can be assured that somebody always find ways to profit from it.

Now after I reveal to you all this magnificent shit about how the world works, now it is your turn to tell me AM I A GENIUS OR WAT!!!

ok. fuck off for anyone not believing i am a genius. for those who believed, just go find a building and jump off it.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Gimi Laikonen

This afternoon while i was downloading porn and has some free time to while away, i decided to catch up on F1. So i switched on the TV to watch a bit. An uneventful first 15 minutes of qualifying where those skinny cars with shitty drivers cleans up the track for the real bad ass cars and suicidal drivers to come out in the last 5 minutes.

And just as i was about convinced that i am better entertained by staring at my monitors screen saver, the Gayboy kimi raikonen strikes again! He managed to thrash a perfectly good car by going after the kerbs(the red white thingy lah bitch!) and drive like he is in a 4wd in Paris-Dakkar.

Strange that everytime the gayboy manages to fuck up his car, his teammates cars seems to be without defect. Or maybe some of his mechanics dont like gayboys.
.
.
.
.



proof that he sucks cocks at driving

or at least

prove that he litteraly sucks cock. this picture shows someone cumming on him

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Takin' Over

You bitches and sons of bitches looking for ducky?
He's still here. Only thing is that he lost creative control to me, Yoda.

It all started when we have a 'Beat up the Bitches' contest. I totally pwned him. Not much of a challenge really. You could say he sucks at it. He sucks so hard that he litterally sucks cock at it. As we know only bitches and aquas sucks cocks, so by telling you he sucks cocks at it, it is telling you a lot about his skills.

One bitchy thing about all this is that he is still around. He might pop-up (pun in your face, bitch!)once in a while to post some lame ass shit of an excuse for a post.When that happens, please feel free to flame the shit out of him, while your at it, tell him how much he sucks cocks.

As i am still in the process of renovation, you guys should go back and check out his his previous post ( i even let him keep his previous lame ass post. I am damn fucking generous) like his bitch day post and titties post and flame the shit out of him.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

international beat that bitch in your office day

this is pretty much inspired by yoda's comment over the past few days and the fact that i realised that no one really take me seriously even if i post something serious like international women's day and after that swearing preaching and lying preach post as well i guess. since that is the case, i see no harm in me for posting any damn thing under the sun and moon as i will get the same response or non at all for that matter.

so today i present you international beat that bitch in your office day.

before you start beating that bitch you call wife or mother beside you, there are some laws relating to this special day. sanction by the UN under the closed eyes of kopi adnan and bery much oppose by the USA, primarily talk queen herself, fat ass bitch oprah, there are certain rules that need to followed.

1st of all if you notice is call beat that bitch, this is singular, meaning you can only beat one single bitch in your office, not 2 not 3, not the whole gang, just 1, so you have to pick your bitch smartly.
secondly is beat that bitch in your office, not your house, not in the car, not in the carpark, supermarket, whorehouse, policestation, it has to be in a office. i know, i know, you work at home, that dont count. tak kira ok. it has to be in a building/premise, else thats just violence. we dont condone senseless beating of bitches in ducky, and neither do we support domestic violence ok. remember ducky for women's international day.
thirdly, if you have a small company/enterprise/sole propreitor and its just you and the bitch staff of your, forfeit/chup, cannot pukul, remember i say you must choose wisely, there is no one to choose from, so also cancelled.
fourthy, if the bitch you so picked is your wife/bitch or mother/bitch in law, preet ! preet ! off side ! you cannot curi ayam like that, remember ducky do not support domestic violence. but for consolation if its your girlfriend, then you can beat the crap out of her lah for fucking with your father, brother, friend, priest, boss, or whatever lah. but if you are engage but not register yet, still can whack kau her, but if register, sorry.
fifth, i say beat not bitch about it. you can whack kau her till her low mou cannot recognise her but you cannot, cannot insult/swear/curse at her at all. the only way the women's ngo agreed to this day was on this condition. beat yes but you cant swear. so remember while you are beating the crap out of the bitch you cant go like that "you like that bitch, pow! how's that feel cocksucker, pow! wow!...."
sixth, you cannot force fornicate this bitch, even if you beat her senseless already, i know you want to decorate her face with your artwork, but rules are rules, you have to keep your brother in tact. also no bOObs gropping. nothing sexual in nature.
seventh, you cannot kill her or crippled her, injury is understandable, stiches are ok, even a broken arm or leg, but not permanent.
eight, are weapons allowed ? this is the grey area of the act. it mentioned here as non-life-threatening weapon. wtf is a non-life-threatening weapon ? a vibrator ? as i say this is a grey area, so use your unsupervise imagination. yoda would understand this perfectly, staple, keyboard, monitor, puncher, ashtray, toilet bowl, toilet bowl cover, toilet bowl cover ? yes you put the bitch head on the toilet bowl and you slam the mother fucker toilet bowl cover on her head.
ninth, this is not an excuse for you and your bitches to start an office orgy, i didnt say international fuck those bitches in your office day, thats tommorow.
tenth, another condition by the women's ngo, you cannot tie her up and and beat the shit out of her, neither can you you gang up against her, its one vs one. just like street fighter.

now that you know the rules, go ahead, go enjoy your international beat that bitch in your offce day.

did i mentioned that the bitch can fight back, using whaever necessary force required, and somemore she gang-up against you, use destructible weapons and even fornicate you. no-ah ? too bad.

i just received this email today, is my email old ?

i belong to one of the loop of ppl that seldom forward mail, but rather receive only. but i do reply email, just that i dun like to forward them. and maybe because of this, i'm quite at the bottom of the loop, the kind of mail i received sometimes is abt 6 months old. so to check how old my mail is, i post this which i just received today. ppl in my office say this is old, but they didnt mentioned how old.

I thought this was interesting. Can you read this?

Olny srmat poelpe can.cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!


so if you can read that, then you should also be able to read this.

IF YOU CAN RAED TIHS TEHN YOU KONW THE DLIRL,
WHY DNOT YOU GO FCUK YUOR SLEF IN THE AHSOLSE

bOObs II

since bOObs I did not attract much comment, let me try bOObs II.

you know where i got those demi moore pictures from ? its from this superb site which i'm going to give you here, now. it's not a porn site, so you sicko hamsup low can go fuck your self in the ass now, you know one mah, what else i'm going to say.

its a site which tries to archive as many celebrities in nude scences either from now or back then with ursulla something in her so call thong in dr. no izzit, i cannot remember. its a powerful site and the amount of celebrities they have there is huge, its a large archive. of course its not free, but of you only preview the pictures, then its free, the paying part is if you want to download the clips or scenes then you pay by byte size. i dunno how it works as i never tried it before, why need when you can get it free from P2P.

the archive is alphabetical of course and everyday they add in new ones, like 5-10-20, depends.

you'll be surprise to find a lot of actress there. and this are not fake pictures ok, they are real.

sandra bullock ? yes ! cameron diaz ? yes anymore ? u need to check it yourself then.

so go enjoy http://www.celebritymoviearchive.com/tour/.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

women day

today is the international women's day

i heard on the radio today in mix fm about this, else i also like the rest of the men one, mong char char.

they had a talk about women being abuse by their husband. i just like to comment a little bit here.

men that abuse their wifes are PUSSYS. yes thats what you ARE. its like picking a fight with the weakest opponent you can find.

remember what i said about if you vote for BN, now i'm going to tell you the same thing if you abuse your wife.

IF YOU ABUSE YOUR WIFE,
YOU ARE A PUSSY, AND
BY THE WAY PLEASE
GO AND FUCK YOUR
SELF IN THE ASS NOW !
SAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE TODAY.
ducky for women day.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

bOObS

one of my fav topics and things that i like to see go bouncing, bOObs.

cheng sim did write something about it, but i'll try to do a 18sx on it for all you ahpek, linpeh, cinapek, cipek out there.

cant deny it, cant say i didn't see it, cant say i try no to see it, cant help it must see, bOObs. women flaunt it, some cover it up, some make it bigger, some push it up to appear bigger, some want it to be bigger, some like it small, but its all the same to US. men/pigs love breast, from the very day we know of its purpose and the pleasure it brings us, we want to see it, more or less. thats the thing, more or less. do you want to see it all or just enough to satisfy your lust.

personally if its a movie star, i guess we want to see it all, but the turning point is, what happen when we see it all ? yeah right, down the drain. we all know what happen to demi moore, she teased us in indecent proposal, makes us horny in disclosure, and we cum in striptease. then it was over. she came, we saw, we left.


teasing

horny

cumming

but what is our real appetite with bOObs, must we see naked bOObs all the time ? and how about the size and shapes ? and color ? standard acceptable size of course is big, but come on you've seen big bOObs and they look better covered up. then just tergantung there. so that means we like to look at cleavage, the more the better but just enough to make our imagination go wild.

my standard 3 artist that i will always make a point with is mariah, britney & kylie. britney has written off as a super desperate slut, mariah is a slut in making but always manage to come back to being hot, but kylie, always show just enough to make us go gaga. those hot pants, man i could watch that video over and over. which brings us out of the bOObs topics and into long slender legs.

so what is the conclusion, naked bOObs or cleavage ? i guess its bOObs if we are doing the banging and cleavage if we are doing the seeing. correct or not ?

Sunday, March 05, 2006

hate comment

today i received my first hate comment.

the writer seem to be pissed with my "next time vote wisely" article especially when i said "I voted for DAP and those of you that voted for BN, you can go fuck your self now !" since the writer told me to go fornicate myself.

heres what the writer wrote without any amendments.

LosAngelesPrincess said...

how bout you,ah beng,go fuck yourself out of malaysia and go back to your home country,wherever it is?i still dont get it how can u bunch of ppl not be grateful to be living in such a peaceful country.arrogant motherfuckers.try living here under bush administration and see it for yourself!freakin chinese u guys are the same wherever u go:arrogant,ignorant and doesnt have any manners at all.Smart,yes,rich,yes,but NO manners and NO respect for others.in other words:go fuck yourself.fuck your mother along the way if u want toyeah and now u can bombard me with everysingle curse words that u know cos im done fucking u over.

and our reply ?

ducky said...

dear LAprincess,
my first hate mail, wow, u seem pissed at something but not me. bombard u ? i decide not to because i think you are a little lost. i cannot see how relevant is it my post that you need me to go and fornicate my self and even my mother for that matter. all i did was drew something which i thought was something, and you are telling me about not being grateful and all that shit. you want to go down to your level of insanity and f you ? you would need to do better than that.

Yodaddy said...

hi losangelesprincess! i am yoda, one of the contributors here. not that i agree with you and not that i disagree with you but you seem to be looking for a fight or something. well, you seems to have come to the right place!I am what you would call an atheist nazi/fundamentalist and i specialise in fucking people over. Now asshole, let me reply to your comments. lets see..Chinese are the superior race. the rest are merely aborigines when you compare with us. Your trying to say this right? now, not that i disagree with you but lets be more politically correct, ok? Now bend over losangelesprincess so that Yodaddy can show you what a naughty girl you have been.



now lets see, let me try to understand this.

the writer call me a ah beng, and numerous time insist that i go fornicate my self and also to return to my home country since i'm a arrogant motherfuckers (i would have prefered the word bastard, as it would make the sentence more flamboyant, eg "you fucking communist arrogant bastard", correct or not, amateur writer) maybe he got me confused with inevitable.

my assumption is that this is writer is of a malay origin, male likely, using the name of losangelasprincess as a cover, stays in malaysia (the bush administration thing is like his name all cover up) and of course vote for BN. i might add, hate chinese, maybe just me, but i dun think so. jealous of our wealth as well as he cannot amased it.

like any hot headed MP, they'll ask us to balik kampung (china is my guess). i mean you have to be a real idiot to think that i and a whole bunch of chinese in this country was born in china. if that was the case, we would have to be at least 80 years old. you think a chinese businessman national can get a resident status easily compared to a blue collar indon ?

obviously you dont really think much do you ?

a khairy spy ? what you think yoda ? care to help me out here inevitable ?

job application form

one of the thing that i hate to do in a job application is to fill up the their job application form. the job application form is somehow similar to the resume, but somehow arrange in a order that suits each particular employer. i mean in my resume, is more comprehensive than the freaking form. cant they standardize the form and use 1 single one for all jobs, that would make the person who is applying for a job the 20th time much easier, as the filling up of the form is thau thia enough already.

so you fill up the form, then there is the personal part of your family member, reference, hobbies, ability, capability and commitment. honestly have you ever met someone that is what they describe in the application form ? no right ? so what is the whole freaking point for filling up a form that is irrelevant and why cant the resume be enough. safe the candidate time, and your time and cost of paper.

unless of course u are applying a job with giants like microsoft, google, jp morgan. where they take in the best of the best of the best only. you seen that article on microsoft on the type of question they will ask ? like how u make MnN or how are u going to move mount fuji, that kind of shit.

but back to our normal jobs, where thinking out of the box is not required, but basic military boot camp obedience is required. we all work for the ahpek china company, where he takes all the money that we produce for the company. his understanding is if you want more pay than you have to work 10 times harder, else you can fuck off, we can hire another fresh grad that ask less question work 20 times more and cost peanuts.

back to our application form. i mean how else would u answer a question if they ask, are u willing to stay back for OT if required ? which stupid fucker is going to write like, "monday i watch lost so i need to leave by 9:00pm, tuesday i have a part time job, wednesday i sell vcd at the pasar malam, thursday is holy whatever fuck day so i dun work on that day, and friday i get lazy because the next day is saturday" or hobbies ? normal hobbies will indicate travelling and reading. who would write,"pukul kapal terbang, download porn, blogging, fucking, combat mission".

how abt the interview then ? honestly if i'm going to hire someone, i'm going to make sure the person can curse like a freakin hokkien lang. and the interview should go something like that.

ducky : you can speak hokkien or not
knn: tiu nia mah chau hai
ducky : tiu nia mah, i ask for hokkien wtf you curse in canton ? you stupid ah ?
knn : solly, knn, limpek beh key, limpek a peh boo beh kay, wa a ah pah liak kay, lu chai yo ?
ducky : got nick name or not
knn : inevitable, but one pundek keep calling me tidak boleh dielak, very tiu lah.
ducky : why inevitable ?
knn : because invitable taken oledi.
ducky : you got blog or not
knn : this one very difficult to answer.
ducky : why so susah ?
knn : if i say yes, mean i curi tulang, every day blog. if i say no, mean i got no imagination, cannot be creative
ducky : very well answered. now you want job or not ? if want must pay me RM500 ang pow.
knn : got discount or not, i give you blowjob.
ducky : kan neh, you gay ah ?
knn : no lah, play-play only
ducky : ok, tommorow come to work
knn : tommorow cannot, thursday is holy what.......