Thursday, May 11, 2006

i gave birth to a piece of shit !

last night i experience child birth.sort of.

no it wasnt a dream. it was real. i had constipation. yes i know, wtf want to know about my asshole problem.

my guess, its the nearest any guy can ever experience childbirth, unless of course you "main belakang" then it's a different story lah.

was sick these few days, food poisoning, diarrhea, the usual, i guess i od on the diarrhea medication, that is why i got constipation.

so for 1/2 hour, i tried to release that bugger, but it was a hard one. a real hard one. i dont know how those gay guys stick it up their asses, cause this big piece of shit that is trying to come out is really a pain in the ass ! so after 1/2 hour, with a severe headache, backbone, ana a sore ass, i gave up. took an hour rest, drank plenty of water and down an apple.

an hour later i gave it another go. i pushed and pushed, i even consult the expertise of my wife whom has given birth to my 2 kids manually ! she told me to release my breath internally, as that would help the pushing process ! so after a few push, i felt it coming out, we were near, and i was abt to faint, just a little bit more and finally it came out, but that wasnt all, i'm going to have triplets ! fuck, after all that pushing, i have to push again. so i pushed even harder now, and when it finally went through, i actually fainted for a good second. i wasnt going to try for the 3rd one. i was tired and exhausted, my legs are wobbling and my asshole has been deflowered. you can stick your whole foot up my ass and i wouldnt have felt a thing ! i'll wait till morning for the 3rd one.

morning came, i was excited and scared the same time. excited as i will be able to rid of that piece of shit that still sits comfortably in my ass, but scared of the pain that i will have to endure again. i sat on the throne again, prepared myself physically and mentally. and i started to push again. to my surprise, this time around, it was much easier, maybe due to my defloweration, my ass has a diameter of a 50 cent coin !

what a load of shit !

6 comments:

walski69 said...

See! See! Watch American Idol somemore! It will give you constipation for sure!

Next time, after American Idol, watch Akademi Fantasia, which will give you diarrhoea - then things get back to normal!!

Heheh

walski69 said...
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walski69 said...
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Inevitable said...

Man... u are full of shit... just like me. Hahaha. Funny though as I was planning to write a post on my shit but you beat me to it... hmm

angel said...

ewwwww!!!

cin cia eng, izit? bo kang cho ah??

ducky said...

dont lah like that walski.

yah just 1 shit load more than you.

not cin cia eng, cin boh eng but cin tulan, mai cho kang.