Thursday, May 11, 2006

i gave birth to a piece of shit !

last night i experience child birth.sort of.

no it wasnt a dream. it was real. i had constipation. yes i know, wtf want to know about my asshole problem.

my guess, its the nearest any guy can ever experience childbirth, unless of course you "main belakang" then it's a different story lah.

was sick these few days, food poisoning, diarrhea, the usual, i guess i od on the diarrhea medication, that is why i got constipation.

so for 1/2 hour, i tried to release that bugger, but it was a hard one. a real hard one. i dont know how those gay guys stick it up their asses, cause this big piece of shit that is trying to come out is really a pain in the ass ! so after 1/2 hour, with a severe headache, backbone, ana a sore ass, i gave up. took an hour rest, drank plenty of water and down an apple.

an hour later i gave it another go. i pushed and pushed, i even consult the expertise of my wife whom has given birth to my 2 kids manually ! she told me to release my breath internally, as that would help the pushing process ! so after a few push, i felt it coming out, we were near, and i was abt to faint, just a little bit more and finally it came out, but that wasnt all, i'm going to have triplets ! fuck, after all that pushing, i have to push again. so i pushed even harder now, and when it finally went through, i actually fainted for a good second. i wasnt going to try for the 3rd one. i was tired and exhausted, my legs are wobbling and my asshole has been deflowered. you can stick your whole foot up my ass and i wouldnt have felt a thing ! i'll wait till morning for the 3rd one.

morning came, i was excited and scared the same time. excited as i will be able to rid of that piece of shit that still sits comfortably in my ass, but scared of the pain that i will have to endure again. i sat on the throne again, prepared myself physically and mentally. and i started to push again. to my surprise, this time around, it was much easier, maybe due to my defloweration, my ass has a diameter of a 50 cent coin !

what a load of shit !


walski69 said...

See! See! Watch American Idol somemore! It will give you constipation for sure!

Next time, after American Idol, watch Akademi Fantasia, which will give you diarrhoea - then things get back to normal!!


walski69 said...
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walski69 said...
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Inevitable said...

Man... u are full of shit... just like me. Hahaha. Funny though as I was planning to write a post on my shit but you beat me to it... hmm

angel said...


cin cia eng, izit? bo kang cho ah??

ducky said...

dont lah like that walski.

yah just 1 shit load more than you.

not cin cia eng, cin boh eng but cin tulan, mai cho kang.