I swear this must be the original script for Godzilla, else why cast Bryan Cranston.

Godzilla had some ED issues so he went to see Heisenberg, since he heard Heisenberg had the purest blue stuff.

He got a ton from Heisenberg, swallowed it with a few hundred gallons of vodka and went knocking on the female MUTO doors. 

MUTO was there lying all prickly and Godzilla just couldn't get his tail up.

MUTO all ready for Godzilla giant Cockzilla, now disappointed high tail to the nearest uranium bar where she met fly boy MUTO as well.

They got rocking, the earth start shaking, Godzilla pissed as hell, the rest you can see from the movie.